Absquatulate
by mandaree1
Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Setting: Human AU**

 **Warnings: Cursing, sexual themes, etc**

 **...**

Peridot picks at her jeans irritably, trying to decide whether to bail or not. The blaring music is neither hip-hop nor dubstep; but, rather, a jazzy cousin of the two. It's more tasteful than she expected from a freshman party, but she's not sure if that means she likes it or not.

For that matter, she's not sure if any of this is tasteful. Peridot only recognizes a handful of the college students here, and that's counting the kids who walk past her apartment on the weekends for work or shopping. Most of her studying was done at home, over the internet, giving her a remarkable disadvantage socially.

Her only lifeline in this world of strangers, Pearl, is off dancing with a large black woman she seems to know personally. Peridot could have asked her to stay, of course, and Pearl would've, but the point of partying is to have fun, isn't it? She doesn't want to be a killjoy. The partygoers are nice, but also incredibly drunk, and Peridot isn't sure how much she likes that combination. She's been cradling a cup of beer herself, sipping at it when her tongue gets dry, but she's not aiming to get drunk.

She should probably be getting home by now, but she dressed up for this, and it'd be a waste of energy to give up already. Nothing fancy- it's just a party, after all- but Peridot personally thought she looked fairly decent in her green blouse and ski hat. She'd wanted a look that screamed "I'm casual but also incredibly gay." Nothing in her closet quite fit that motto, so she choose just casual.

Peridot jumps when a hand parts her on the shoulder. She has to crane her head down a little bit to meet mahogany eyes. The woman's skin is a creamy brown, stark against her bright red bikini top and skirt, which is open along the side. Her necklace, full of turquoise stones, looks real. Topping it all off is a river of black hair, tied up in a pony tail. "Hey howdy, ya'll! Need anything? Beer? A hook-up? Any of you smoke?"

"I do." One of the ladies lounging around the speakers with her growls. Part of her face is mutilated, missing an eye; a run-in with a bear as a child, she'd explained. The others addressed her by the nickname of Eyeball, which she thought was a little mean, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Not on the carpet, okay?" The woman laughs, tossing her a box of Marlboros. "Anybody else? Wanna leave my party bros satisfied."

"A better look at that outfit, maybe!" Eyeball's sister squeals. She manages to pull off a gayer look than Peridot without even trying. "You look lovely, Carnelian."

"Thanks, babe. Maybe we can take it off together later." Carnelian winks. "It's my house, after all."

She giggles. "There's always hope."

Eyeball snorts at her, tossing her box back with one less cigarette to its' name. "Treat her nice."

"Eye, eye, captain." She saluted, lightly bumping her forehead from moving too fast and too carelessly. "Anywho, ya'll're gay, right?"

"Carnelian," Lapis observes. She's only in a tanktop and shorts. "Everybody you invite to these parties is gay."

That explains the lackluster turnout, then.

"Hey, I gotta make sure, Bob." Carnelian raises her hands in surrender, shrugging. "I'm trying to set my homegirl up. Any of you lookin' for someone to crash with?"

"Who's your girl?" Lapis takes a long drink out of her cup. "If it's Jasper, I'm going to cut her balls off."

"Nah. Didn't you hear? Stripy got arrested on drug charges. I'm talkin' my littlest sis- Amethyst."

There's a quiet intake of air from all of them, Peridot included.

Amethyst Puma is a legend in Ocean Town. Granted, most of what Peridot has heard has come straight from Pearl, who's known for being a bit dramatic, but even then she was still an intimidating character. Thick-knuckled, big-lipped, and incredibly forward- Peridot has yet to meet a person on campus who didn't claim to know the woman on an intimate level. The idea that she was in the same _district_ , let alone the same house, made a knot of anxiety curl in her belly. She didn't know how to feel about this. Unknowns never typically lead to good things.

Eyeball whistled. "Been awhile since I saw her. How's she been?"

"Why? You interested?"

Her lip curled a bit. "The girl of my dreams is locked up right now. I'll pass."

"I wouldn't waste my breath." Lapis warned. "Jasper's rough at best."

"I _like_ rough."

"Kink talk aside." Carnelian butted in. "Am I wasting my breath, or what?"

Eyeball, her sister, and Lapis all exchanged a look. Then they glanced at Peridot, who was quietly keeping her mouth in her cup, a red tinge decorating her face. She can't help that she's vanilla when it comes to this sort of talk.

"What the hell," Lapis shrugs. "Bring her over."

"Score!" The woman cheers, then jogs away, shoving her Marlboros into her bra as she goes. Eyeball watches her suspiciously and lights up.

"You really wanna bang _that_ , Navy?"

Her sister- Navy- shrugs daintily. "She seems nice."

"And pushy."

"I'm stronger than her. She can't push me."

"We don't know that for sure. She could lift."

Navy grabs her wrist in a consoling gesture, an easygoing smile on her face. "I'm not Leggy, sis. I can hold my ground, should I feel the need. Don't worry so much."

Eyeball grunts, but doesn't push the topic. Peridot wonders if perhaps sobriety wasn't her wisest decision.

Carnelian pushes through the crowd a few minutes later with a woman Peridot can only assume is Amethyst. Peridot puts her cup on the stereo to insure she didn't stain Carnelian's carpet with a shaky hand.

Amethyst is almost a head under Carnelian, with much darker skin. Her brown hair is wavy, almost curly, hugging her chin and half her face like a lover's embrace. She has plump facial features and stubby hands, just as the rumors say, but Peridot focuses more on her voluptuousness. The pleasing curve of her belly; her thighs; and, yes, admittedly, her breasts, though she doesn't stare. Peridot doesn't want to come off as a creep.

Her visible eye is drooped and shadowed with rich purple eyeliner and sparkles. She wears black sweatpants and a light gray hoodie. A star has been stitched onto the chest area, left side. Amethyst holds her hands behind her back as they approach, leisurely on the prowl.

"Heey, pretty eye." She coos, wrapping her arms around Eyeball's shoulders and lacing her fingers together against her neck. She hardly spares the others a glance. Peridot admires her utter nonchalance in spite of the lit cigarette mere centimeters away from her nose. "What's shakin'?"

"Not my bed." Eyeball returns, but sounds earnestly disappointed, even with her earlier statements. "Family's coming over tomorrow."

"Aw." Amethyst says, but she doesn't sound sad as she pulls away. "So, you're the gals my cuz decided to dump me on."

Peridot can't help herself. "I thought you were sisters?"

Amethyst looks at her. The kind of look where you start from the toes, pause at the crotch and boobs, then end on the face. She's still smiling. "Technically, we're not. Carnelian just calls me little sis 'cause I'm the shortest in the fam." Her eye drifted to the woman in question. "Who's this cutie? She's got killer taste in colors."

Peridot splutters. Everyone laughs.

Shame burns her, and she forces herself to straighten, wiping the sweat on her bad hand onto her jeans. It'd only make things worse if she needed Carnelian as an interpreter. "Peridot. I'm Peridot."

"Nice to meet you, Peridot," Amethyst sidles on in, hooking her arms around her like she did Eyeball. She feels her neck start to get warm as her half-lidded eyes droop further. "I'm Amethyst. You like to dance?"

Peridot swallowed. "I-I can't. Dance."

"Everybody can dance, Peri." She has a thick, powerful set of teeth. "S'just a matter of how comfortable you are with it."

("She's doomed." Eyeball whispers with a rough chuckle. Navy makes an indecisive sound and doesn't reply.)

"And you complained about setting you up," Carnelian laughed.

All at once, the heat and softness drew away from her. Peridot immediately missed it.

"Peri's a new friend, cuz." She says, one hand lounging on the speaker beside Peridot, the other on her hip. "What she does or doesn't want is up to her."

"I wouldn't mind trying to dance." Peridot is surprised she can make full sentences. "Just… not here."

Amethyst's slow smile- and attention- is back. "There's a backyard of possibilities."

Peridot doesn't complain when Amethyst excuses them and takes her outside. It's late- or early- and the dew tickles her ankles. Amethyst upheaves a bottle of booze on two teenagers making out on the grass and they both laugh as they go inside, grumbling.

"I should probably warn you about my hand." Peridot hesitantly holds out her right hand, showing off the weak grip. She can't even make a fist. "I had an _incident_ when I was a child."

"Okay." Amethyst nonchalantly grabs her wrist, guiding it to rest on her wide waist, which it cupped perfectly. "This work?"

"Yes." Peridot squeaks. The crook of her midsection is hot and soft to the touch, just like the rest of her, and maybe she's a little tipsy at this point. "This is fine."

Amethyst laughs, long and low. "Dude, I just saw you as that dog in a burning room. It was cute."

"Uh… thanks?"

Her smile is sharp with affection and something humid. "Yer a nerd, aren'tcha Peri?"

"Well, I _am_ getting a degree in robotics."

Something flashed in her eyes. "You gonna make Wall-E's for a living?"

"No!" She defends, but the gentle way she says it makes her reconsider. "But I _do_ have a replica in my closet, I think. Or maybe I left it at my parent's house?"

"Haha, neat." Amethyst locks their free hands together. "Normally, I dance like a boss, but a nerd like you needs somethin' more simple. Let's just _move_."

They twirled in the grass, legs streaked with dew. Amethyst presses their bodies together again, rolling and moving like water. Whatever her jokes, it's increasingly obvious that Amethyst knows what she's doing. She could even give lessons.

Peridot jumps and stumbles when Amethyst spins her, but her touch is firm. A sense of unreality is beginning to set in. Is she really dancing, tipsy, with this random woman she hardly knows? More importantly, can they keep doing it?

She twirls her in silent revenge, but Amethyst just _goes_ with it, spinning with laughter in her eyes. She grit her teeth and made the split-second decision to dip her, watching in horror as her hand gave out mere seconds after feeling it cramp.

Amethyst seemed to drop in slow motion, jaw open with surprise. It's not a long fall- they're both short people- but she still lets out a little 'oof' when her ass hits.

She messed it up.

She _ruined_ this.

Amethyst bursts out in vicious peals of laughter.

Shame pricked at her wet eyes. It was an easy task, forgetting her weak hand. She hardly ever used the stupid thing, and, when she did, it was for simple reasons. She'd never thought to use it to dip a full-grown woman before. She should've realized it wouldn't work.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Forget it." Peridot says, and just barely manages not to sniffle. Her good hand wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm going back inside."

The laughter stopped. "Wait, Peri, _no_ …"

The nickname had been cute before. Now, it only worsens the blow to her pride. Peridot turns and stomps away, jerking against the stubby hand that grabs her wrist. She hadn't noticed the crickets chirping before now.

"No more dancing." Amethyst promised. "Let's just chill on the porch and have a drink."

Peridot finds her composure weakening. Honestly, Amethyst could have any woman in this party, depending on their orientation. Lapis _had_ said that almost everybody was gay. "Why?"

"You're cute and I like Wall-E. Also, I'm kinda hoping you'd be up to banging later, but that's totally voluntary."

Peridot's face flames, but she can still find it in her to laugh. She can practically see the tension melting off her own shoulders.

"Okay."

* * *

"Have you lived here long?" Peridot asks as she takes the offered red solo cup. Amethyst squats a bit to sit down. "I hear about you a lot, but I've never seen you."

"Nah. I'm new here." Amethyst shrugs quietly. "I moved to Ocean Town to hook up with the fam. My ma gave me and my sis away when I was just a baby, so it's only now I get to meet all my cousins and nieces and shit. We call each other sisters to make it easier."

"Your blood sister is Jasper, right?"

"Right." Amethyst smiles toothily at her. "Before you ask; yes. The rumors are all true. Ex-gang, drug dealer, stone cold bitch. You couldn't _pay_ me to go toe-to-toe with Jasper."

Peridot swallows some spit, then sweetens the deal with alcohol. "Should I be concerned about the mafia?"

"Ha! It wasn't anything that deep. Jasper wasn't stupid." Amethyst shrugs. "I can get you some wicked good pot, though."

"No, thanks."

"'Kay."

Amethyst drinks half her cup in one go. "How 'bout you? Any sibs?"

"Hardly."

"What happened to your hand?"

"Car crash. It went through the wind shield."

"Ouch."

"I don't remember much of it. I was maybe five, at the time. My brain blocked the memories. My mother tells me I begged someone to chop it off, which is weird, seeing how sharp objects scared me as a child."

"I mean. You _did_ kinda go through glass."

Peridot shrugs. It's long been accepted- the fact that she'll probably never remember. "What about you?"

"Huh?"

"Your hand."

"Oh." Amethyst holds her right palm out to her. A tattoo of what looks to be some sort of handle spirals around her wrist and disappears under her hoodie. "I like whips. Got a puma on my other shoulder, too."

"I hope that comment wasn't an innuendo."

"Nope."

"Good." Peridot sets her cup aside with a sigh. "So, what now?"

Amethyst smirks a bit at that. Her eye is half-lidded again. "What're you up for?"

"To stop this weird, half-assed game between us."

"Not a game, Peri. I've been real since this shindig started." Amethyst swung her stubby legs. Somehow, Peridot felt more comfortable speaking her mind now that she'd dunked the woman on the dirt. It made her more human, somehow, even if it was her mistake that put them in this position. "You seem nice. Wanna be pals. Maybe fuck and take you out for dinner tomorrow, if you're interested."

"I don't know you."

"Ditto. Let's learn."

 **Author's Note: Let's have some fun with this, ya'll.**

 **Fun aside, this is gonna be a story about coming to terms with loss, moving, and your sexuality. Yupper-do.**

 **-Mandaree1**

 **Edit: This was just gonna be on AO3, but I figured why not.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Warnings: Sex in this chapter, ya'll, with some cursing like last time, mild blood at once bit but nobody's actually hurt, it's just a flashback.**

 **...**

This all starts because Pearl tells her to get a life. At least, that's what it amounts to.

It's mildly ironic, given that Pearl is a late bloomer into higher education at thirty five, whereas Peridot is twenty two, but Pearl also had plenty of friends on and around the campus. Not to mention that Pearl was in the military right out of high school, on top of ballet and swim, with a purple heart to her name. To be blunt, she's a lot more accomplished than the scrawny nerd girl who graduated almost two years early.

But, then, isn't that how it always was? Eyeball fought a bear to save her sister and lived to tell the tale. Navy's worked at a bar. Leggy, their third sister, who lost said limb from the wounds, has found mild success running a flower shop. Lapis almost died out at sea as a teenager, and is now juggling school and therapy on top of raising a child.

And then there's Peridot. Who has legitimately done nothing with her life so far, unless you count fixing cars and burning down the kitchen when she attempted to make instant ramen.

Yet here she is, sitting as still as a board on the public bus beside Amethyst Puma (and, honestly, could she have chosen a faker-sounding name?) to go to her apartment. Her car is parked a few blocks behind the party, but Peridot doesn't trust herself to drive even slightly tipsy. Amethyst's hand on her knee isn't helping matters.

It's not that she hasn't had women over before. She has. But every time is a new experience, and she feels the age-old 'what if I'm not good enough?' anxiety bubbling up.

"Chill, Perbear." Amethyst pats her side comfortingly. "No pressure."

"'Kay."

She slung an arm across her shoulders. "Let's go."

So much for no pressure.

She told herself to relax and led them to the stairwell and up to her apartment. Peridot lives on the third floor, near the end of the hall, in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom. Her parents are the ones paying for it, though she's certain they would refuse to allow sexual activities in it. Well, that's never stopped Peridot before.

"Ta-da!" She chimes, nudging the door open. The main area is a living room-kitchen mix, even though Peridot really can't cook. There's a sofa, a TV, a table to eat on, and a table to prop her feet on, and that's all. The kitchen is equipped with basic silverware, clean and put away. "It's not much, compared to a full house, but it's cozy."

"It's nice." Amethyst grabbed her wrist and pulled her flush against her body, smiling. "How we doin' this? Wanna eat first, maybe build a pillow fort? Snuggling? Or are you more kinky?"

Peridot blushed, and continues to blush as the woman goes on. Still, Amethyst's unyielding confidence is nice. "I was kinda hoping we could take a shower first. Just, you know. Get the party stench off."

The enthusiasm doesn't once leave her face. "You got any bubble bath?"

"Baths aren't good for cleaning. It's just sitting in your own filth."

"We'll rinse off after. Bubble baths are _perfect_ for nights like this."

Nights like what? Two drunk women hooking up for sex? Is the world ending and Peridot is the oblivious main character, with numerous INTERESTS? "Okay."

Peridot is thankful the bathtub is a bit wider than some, though the water doesn't go was deep as she wished. Amethyst gently wipes off her eye shadow while Peridot runs the water, tossing out the alcohol swab on the way. She rubs at her lips with her hoodie arm to disintegrate a light layer of lip gloss Peridot hadn't even noticed.

"Ya' good with nudity?"

"It's boobs." She answered, deadpan. "Of course I am."

Amethyst laughs- Peridot is quickly learning it's a vicious, blunt sound by nature- and pulls her hoodie off, taking any shirts underneath with it. Peridot doesn't spot any bras on the floor.

Now she can see her tattoos better. The handle in her hand spirals into a dark whip that goes up her arm to the base of her collar bone. Small purple shards are etched into the sides, so sharp it's a wonder they don't break skin, and the three ends wrap around her throat. It must've taken quite a bit of money- and pain- for something like that.

Her other arm had a simple puma, purple in color, with a roaring mouth and flat body. A fine layer of arm hair covered them, and Peridot could see some wispy tufts under her arms as she stretched, smirking.

"Whattaya think?" She probed coyly.

"I think you've had some serious artwork done."

"Thanks. I was hoping more for a compliment to the tits, but my tats are pretty nice. Your turn."

Peridot shrugged off her blouse, feeling surprisingly self-conscious of her small breasts and shaved arms. Was it all too much? She just hated the feeling of bristles whenever she brushed against her own skin.

"You got this whole cute nerd vibe goin' on, bro." Amethyst observes. "Me likey."

Peridot rolled her eyes and wrenched the faucet off. Pearl had gifted her a bottle of bubble bath a few months back, and a decent sheen covered the water now. When she turned back around, Amethyst was pant-less and waiting for her to move.

"Guh!" She yelps, hopping aside. Way to smooth talk. Surely, Peridot was the master of gay flirting. "Sorry. You spooked me."

"Ya' gotta nice set of vocals, Peri." Amethyst dipped a foot in, then two. She expected a raunchy joke, but the woman simply slid into the water. "You do choir?"

"No."

"Shame. You could be a decent soprano. Maybe an alto." Amethyst leaned back, arms propping up on the basin. "You coming in, or is this second-thoughts time?"

Peridot steeled her courage and daintily stuck her foot in. It was _this_ close to hot, which was how she liked it. "Did you do choir?"

"Nah. I used to sing with my roommate in Juvy, though." Amethyst sucks in a hissing breath. "Shiiiiit, that was a terrible thing to tell the girl I'm hopin' to snuggle."

"That doesn't really shock me." She sunk down, finding the water up to her breasts if she hunched. The bubbles were almost up to her shoulders. "You didn't murder somebody, did you?"

"Define murder."

"Kill. Put five feet under. Fed the parts to pigs on a farm."

"Ah. Thought you might be being metaphorical. But, uh, nah. I stabbed a mofo. They were trying to break into my house. His daddy had money and all that shit. Got three years."

"How old are you, exactly?"

"Twenty four."

Peridot leaned forward. "And how old do you think I am?"

Amethyst hesitates. "I dunno- twenty three? You look young, but not nineteen and dumb young."

"I'm twenty two."

"Close enough," Amethyst grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up onto her chest. Peridot felt warm water and the soft give of skin. "See? Baths are nice. We can just get used to each other- but we don't gotta look, either."

"Oh." Peridot says intelligently. "Um."

"Too much?"

"Readjusting. You're like a pillow."

"Yup." Her smile was back. "Love it."

Peridot shifted. Her knee brushed wet hair. Amethyst jumped a little, then giggled.

"We washin' or what?"

She ran her hands through the darker girl's hair, then helped wash her front. Her form is soft and giving, but she can feel the muscles underneath. There was no doubt this woman was a fighter. Amethyst's grip is heavy and clunky as she shampoos Peridot's shorter hair, running over her belly with a washcloth.

Amethyst slipped out first, messily running a towel over her hair while Peridot rinsed herself off, then had to dry it again after stepping in after her. Peridot didn't know whether to stare or avoid eye contact, and instead focused on wiping off her arms.

Amethyst sloppily wrapped a towel around her midsection. Her hair was still dripping wet. "You ready?"

"You aren't gonna dry off?"

"This _is_ how I dry. Air."

Peridot laughed and brought her hands up to work the fabric through her mane. "I'm not letting this mess into _my_ bed."

"Psh. Fine."

Relishing in the repetitive motions in her movements, Peridot glanced at the towel around the woman's waist, wondering if she should demand she do more than just drip-dry, when she notices a sloppy hexagon pattern in her skin, just above the boobs. An awkward circle wound around it, off-center, hitched a bit too high and left.

"What did this?" She asked, gently running her thumb over it.

Amethyst freezes, mouth dipping downwards sheepishly. She thinks the woman might finally blushing for the first time the entire night. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Ugh," she groaned. "You remember that apple slicer that got recalled a couple years back? I was six, so you woulda been... four, give or take? The rim was absolute shit."

"You got an _apple slicer_ recalled?"

"No, not me. But my foster ma decided it'd be a bright idea to buy one at a garage sale; said we were smart enough to use it properly. I fell on the stupid fucking thing- snapped the rim, in my chest, hospital here we come."

Peridot tried to imagine- Amethyst Puma, probably living under a more realistic moniker, toddling around with a defunct apple slicer, presumably to use on an apple, when something trips her. Watching in slow motion as the floor came closer, the instrument held protectively to her shirt, when suddenly there's a crisp snapping sound and blades are embedded deep in her skin. "That sounds painful."

"Didn't tickle," she agreed. "But it wasn't any arm out the windshield of a car, either."

* * *

Peridot's bedroom is plain, with only the most basic of essentials, but the bed itself is plush and soft. Amethyst sprawls out with a pleased sigh, as naked as the day she was born. Peridot hesitates, then climbs on beside her, feeling foolish for being uncertain about her own bed.

"You like toys?"

Peridot forces her voice to stay even. This is a tease if she ever heard one. "Do you?"

"Vibrators, maybe. Really just depends on my mood," Amethyst answers nonchalantly. "You?"

"Strap-ons," Peridot admits.

She whistled. "Well, well. Didn't take you as the type."

"You struck _me_ as the type."

"I hate penetration."

"Ah."

"You have any clip-on harnesses? I can use that just fine."

"You make it sound like I have a bunch of them just lying around."

"I mean, you gotta have one or two, right? You've had to have gotten some before if you know your body that well."

"It's in the closet."

Amethyst nods and slips off the bed. She shows no interest in covering up as she bends over, digging around for the harness. "Whelp. No Wall-E. I feel personally disappointed."

"If you got me half-drunk and into my bed just to see a Wall-E toy, I think your disappointment would be the _least_ of my concerns."

"Haha! You're a riot, Peri." Amethyst straightened, a harness and lube in hand.

"I don't keep lube in there."

"I'm magic." She winked, setting the two items on the bedside counter. Amethyst crawled up and over Peridot, leaving a lingering kiss on her neck. "Is this weird? Do you not like kissing strangers?"

"You've told me about a shitty apple slicer," Peridot answered, deadpan. "We're practically married."

She snorted. "Fair enough."

"What about you? Does it bother you?"

"I mean; long, sloppy make-outs don't get me going, if that's what you mean, no. But neck and belly kisses are fun."

"Okay, then."

She laid a few stray kisses on the woman's neck, grinning ear to ear. From there, Amethyst dipped down to her breasts, brushing the soft skin between the two.

"Can I touch you?"

"Sure. Just don't expect any fireworks. Too much fat on the boobies."

Peridot rolled her eyes and languidly curled her arms around the woman's back, massaging her fat rolls. Amethyst watched her curiously, then went back to her chest, twirling a half-hard nipple in one hand and the other between her lips. She squeezed Amethyst's in revenge, but she hardly seemed to notice.

"You seem oddly composed."

"Peri, it's sex. It's not complicated."

"Yes, but... aren't you even a little aroused, or whatever?"

"You've touched me, like, twice. Takes a bit more than that to get me going."

Peridot flushes a bit. "Fair enough."

"It's not a race, baby doll." Amethyst pulled herself up to press their noses together. "Don't gotta go nowhere fast. Or anywhere at all, really. Ya' dig?"

She swallowed and nodded.

"Good. Now, let's chill for a bit."

Amethyst dug her chin into the dip between her breasts and settled in, languidly draping across her lithe body like a heavy blanket. Peridot focused on breathing, diaphragm filling and emptying. Her whole body began to unwind, wrapping her arms around the woman's neck and hair with an affectionate squeeze.

"I don't think I'm up for toys tonight, actually. Strap-ons are a lot more _involved_ than I have the patience for right now."

"Alrighty. I could go down on you, if you'd like."

"What about you?"

"My jaw don't cramp easy."

"No, I mean; what about _your_ needs?"

"Got any vibrators?"

"No. They never really did anything for me."

"Then it's no biggie. I'll go buy a bullet tomorrow and you can help me."

Peridot craned her neck off the pillow. "Tomorrow?"

Amethyst flushed, then reconsidered her words. "If you'll have me, I mean. S'your house."

"Of course." Peridot said without thought. "I was hoping you'd stay the night anyway."

That easygoing grin was back. "Happy to."

She squirmed down, pressing a warm kiss to her belly as she went, settling in-between her legs with a hum. "Fingers, or just tongue?"

"Just tongue, please. Let's save the tricks for when we're both completely sober."

"Gotcha." Amethyst said. Peridot felt something warm and wet circle her clit.

Things become a little hazy as time ticks on. Amethyst is strong, holding her hips down with ease, and seems to find her squeaking noises amusing. At one point she goes completely off track, tickling her sides until Peridot kicks her in the chest, leaving her winded but nonetheless happy. She climaxes hard, once, then pulls her up for a chaste kiss on the cheek. Amethyst wipes her mouth on her bare arm and settles in beside her.

"Ya' good?"

"I'm sated. You?"

"Sleepy. I think I'm gettin' a headache. S'cool if I conk out?"

Peridot curled closer to her, burying her nose into the bumped hexagon scar. "Only if I can conk out with you."

"See?" She sighed, gleefully wrapping her thick arm around her neck. "Ain't this so much better than sex?"

 **Author's Note: I seem to have this thing with giving Amethyst more and more ridiculous reasons for having a gemstone shape on her chest. "I've got tattoos, but I also fell on an apple slicer. Eh."**

 **I had this half-written out with the first chapter, so here we are. Probably won't update this quick next time.**

 **Writing sex when you're ace is a bit weird. 'Cause, like, for me, I'm prone to notice how soft somebody is or how warm they are to hug. That's about as far as it goes. So, uh, yeah. There's a lot of dialogue in my sex 'fics, which is cool. Let's just say I'm not the only ace in this story.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Warnings: sexual content, cursing**

 **...**

This all starts because Jasper gets her stupid ass arrested. At least, that's the gist of it.

Unfortunately, Amethyst hadn't been contributing to rent payments at all, and therefore had lost their house after a few months. It's not like she had a whole lot of job options, you know? She _stabbed_ somebody.

From there, she was forced to relocate to Skinny's house. The albino woman was always up for company, and made no fuss about her raiding the fridge, but mooching off people who weren't her sister had never been her style. Amethyst hadn't been party-hopping since she was a teenager, but her sticky fingers certainly hadn't lost their touch, and Amethyst soon made a career out of it, finding and taking whatever looked good from the local partygoers.

Not that she'd stolen anything from Carnelian last night. Amethyst doesn't take from family.

Leaving a quick note on the kitchen counter, Amethyst slipped out of Peridot's apartment with the keys to her car. They'd been unable to drive last night, and it only seemed right that she pick it up for her now. It _is_ mostly her fault.

"Alright, muthafuckas, I'm here!" Amethyst kicks open Carnelian's front door, twirling the Camp Pining Hearts key chain. The living room is in a greater sense of disarray than usual. Plastic beer cups littered the coffee table. There's a new stain on the ugly cream-colored sofa. Amethyst thinks that might be a bra strap poking out from a lampshade.

All in all, not the wildest thing Carnelian has done. Still, you gotta applaud the originality of it.

Clunking up the carpet stairs, Amethyst trailed on over to the door at the end of the hall, opening it with a holler. "Ya'll still fucking in here? Should I come back later?"

Navy shrieks. Carnelian sits up and rubs at her eyes.

"Dude, I'm tryin' to cuddle a cute girl here. Eff off."

Amethyst turns tail. It's one thing to walk in on the old hump and grind; it's a whole other with cuddling. That junk is private. "Ya'll like omelets? I'm makin' omelets."

Sticking the keys in her pocket, Amethyst dodges a puddle of kool-aid with a white Portal shirt in the middle, plucking a pan and spatula out of the cupboards.

Her relationship with sex is hard to describe. It's strange to watch and harder to listen to. Performing the act was okay, to some extent, but the sounds still sometimes set her on edge. It's fun, and silly, and while she occasionally yearned for earplugs, she enjoyed seeing people so chill and happy afterwards.

Sex is weird. Like a puzzle she has to climb into 'cause she doesn't fit quite right on her own.

"Okay, you cuddle-blocking asshat," Carnelian stomps into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a white robe. "What the fuck?"

"I came to pick up Peri's ride."

"So you wrecked my chance of cute post-coital cuddling?"

"I was hungry."

"Square up, sis."

"You don't want my omelets?"

"Make my food, and _then_ we'll square up. Bitch."

"Thanks, bitch."

Carnelian hiked up her robe and slipped into a wood seat at the table. "So. Didja fuck her?"

"I ate her out."

"You say that so nonchalantly."

"It's just sex, Carny."

"I don't get you. Aren't you happy you got some from such a cute girl?"

"She told me she had a Wall-E in her closet. It was a lie. Sex can't make up for that."

"Fair enough."

Navy came into the room with her shirt, Carnelian's shorts, and an unsatisfied frown on her face. "You didn't tell me your family was so obnoxious."

Carnelian opened her arms with a hug, which Navy accepted. "Sorry, babe. Amethyst is the exception."

"Insert Mongol montage here."

"Fuck off with that John Green shit. You're terrible at history, and I doubt he'd appreciate the reference."

"Touche. Hey, have you seen Rose? She wasn't at the party."

"She's stayin' with Greg's fam, since the baby is due any day now."

"Figures. Don't know what Rose sees in him. He's uber bald."

"Didn't you have sex with him, once?"

"We were both drunk. I think there were blindfolds involved. It was a buddy fuck, so we don't really talk about it. Don't mention that to Pearl, btw. She'd never dance with me again."

"Your secret is safe with me. Navy?"

"You're very flippant about this," Navy acknowledges.

"Why does everybody say that?"

"Because you're not flippant in a 'I just got laid' way," Carnelian supplies. "More like a 'it's my turn to do laundry and I got the blood stains out of my boxers' kind of flippant."

"Whatever. This is what I get for trying to talk to people who just spent the entire night having sex. Tired upstairs and down."

"Pretty much."

"If you hear from Rose, gimme a call, alright? We're getting worried."

"We?"

"Pearl hasn't seen her either."

"Oh," Carnelian's voice is much more weighted now, "that changes things."

"It does?" Navy interjects.

"Oh, yeah. Pearl comes by Rose and Greg's all the time. She's probably there more than even Greg is." Carnelian stretched her hands out on the table. "Anywho, where's those omelets?"

* * *

Amethyst returns to the apartment complex with the car, a full belly, and a plastic bag. She swung it recklessly in circles, humming to herself.

Peridot is anxiously watching TV when Amethyst props the unlocked door open. Amethyst admires her alien PJs as the college student rears off the couch.

"Heya, Peri." She slipped an arm around the girl in a hug, pressing the keys into her hand. "Brought yo' car back."

"I know. I found your note." Peridot stiffly pockets them. Her nasally voice is cute. "Please give me more warning next time. I about had a heart attack."

Amethyst doesn't feel very sorry, but apologizes anyway, if only to be polite. "Sorry, Perbear. You gotten anything to eat?"

"I had a taco."

"Haha, sweet."

"I hate tacos."

"Peri, why you gotta disappoint me this way? First, you don't got no Wall-E, and now you're hating on my one true love."

"You can't have romantic relations with a taco."

"Wanna bet?"

"Not really."

"Cool," she set the bag in the sink and smiled at her. "You wanna watch a movie?"

"I dunno. Is that something people _do_ after hooking up?"

"People aren't me." Was her only response. "Comedy or drama?"

Peridot squinted at the bag curiously. "What is that?"

"A bullet."

"Oh," Peridot took a step back, face shiny red. "You were serious last night."

Amethyst shrugged. "My old one finally died on me a couple weeks ago. I've been too lazy to get another one."

"That long?"

"I've got fingers, Peri."

"You said you hate penetration."

"The clit isn't inside."

"Oh. Right. Duh."

She swallowed a belly laugh. Peridot took an eager but awkward step closer.

"May I... help?"

Amethyst smirked at her shy tone. She has the guts to ask to help, but not enough to do confidently? It's an odd line to balance on. "You wanna get me off, Peri-clops?"

Peridot put her hands on Amethyst's hips. One of them squeezed. "You got _me_ off."

"This isn't an IOU business, Peri."

"I know, I know. Sorry. It just came out that way. I _want_ to get you off."

"Atta girl." Amethyst slid her arms around Peridot's neck and shoulders. She likes how warm she is- how close her cute little freckles are. "Alright, settin' some ground rules here."

"Okay."

"You already know I hate anything goin' up. Got that outta the way. I don't talk during sex- make any noise, really. I squeak if you surprise, but otherwise I'm pretty quiet. If I'm not makin' noises like a pro, _don't_ immediately assume it doesn't feel good."

"How will I know if I am doing bad?"

"I'll push you off. No offense, Peridot, but you're kind of a stick bug. You dig?"

"Don't dig your heels into my spine and we're good."

"Ha, _nice_."

They grab the plastic bag and head for the bedroom. Amethyst falls onto the bed with a sigh; if nothing else, Peridot has good taste in mattresses.

"Did you eat before you came back?" Peridot's voice is muffled by her PJ shirt as she pulls it off. "We can get takeout if you didn't."

"'Mere, you dork. You got your arm caught. Stopped by Carnelian's house, made some omelets."

"How's that one girl- Navy? Yeah. Navy. How's _Navy_ doing?"

"Good. Kinda pissed at me for busting in on a cute moment, but that's just my style." Amethyst pressed her lips to the woman's hand. The fingers twitched weakly. "You met her fam yet?"

"Only Eyeball and Leggy. What're the others?"

"Doc, Army, and their aunt, Ruby. Ruby is only a couple years older."

"Army?"

"She was born missin' an arm."

"Ah. Are they all body-related? The origins of their nicknames, I mean."

"Mostly. Eyeball lost an eye fighting a bear, Leggy got attacked _by_ a bear and lost a leg, Doc has a heart condition from a bad fall knocking the beat off, and Navy fell on a post as a kid. They're a real klutzy fam."

"I thought you were new here? Where did you even _get_ all of this?"

"They're kinda infamous in these parts. That, and XL is big into gossip."

"Who?"

"Cousin of mine. She wasn't at the party, so I doubt you'd know her."

"Okay," Peridot slowly blinked at her, fingers digging into her fleshy hips. One set was more clunky than the other. "Is is weird that I hate calling them by those names? I mean, I know _they_ don't mind, but it just feels _mean_."

Amethyst snorted, nudging the girl away to unzip her hoodie. They really only needed to dispose of her leggings for this, but if she wants nudity, Peridot'll get nudity. "You ever hear their 'real' names?"

"I don't think I have, no."

"Ruby."

"I know _that_ one, at least."

"No, Peri. They're _all_ named Ruby. The folks weren't all that creative when _five_ babies popped out. Dunno if Rubes was happy, but I can guess not."

"They've all got the same name? Is that even legal?"

"Maybe? Probably. They could always add a little number to the end of it. Like Ruby², or something."

"That's cruel and unusual punishment."

"Hence why the nicknames. No need to feel bad, Peri. They like 'em. Honest."

"If you're sure."

"Completely."

Peridot leaned down, hesitated, then pressed their lips together. Amethyst returned the affection, pulling back with an obnoxious "Mwah!" sound.

"Why're we talking about Rubies when we're getting ready for masturbation?" Peridot inquired.

"Because sex is weird and it leads to weird conversations." Amethyst shrugged off her wife beater. She didn't typically wear a bra, and today is no different. Peridot ran her hands over the pudge in her belly. "Nice and soft, huh? I like it."

"I'm fond of soft things, yes."

"Like boobs?"

"Don't put words in my mouth."

"You're staring, Peri."

"Alright, yes, okay. I like your boobs."

Amethyst cackled and bent to shimmy her leggings and socks off. Peridot awkwardly watched, still clad in her green alien shirt. The woman gingerly leaned over to rescue the vibrator from its' plastic cocoon. She looked overwhelmed and enthused all at once.

Peridot pecked her lips once more, then presses a kiss to her scar, much to Amethyst's embarrassment. Honestly, she forgot it was there most of the time, and that was just fine. Who gets a scar from an apple slicer, anyway? Kid Ame was _weak_.

"Don't get your hopes up," she warns when Peridot's hand glides down to her nipples, tweaking the right while she kisses the left. "Too much fat."

"You don't feel _anything_?"

"Oh, I feel it, just not in any big way. That's the disadvantage with big boobs."

"Are there any advantages?"

"They soft."

"Besides that."

"Not really."

"Oh. That sucks."

"Eh. That's genetics."

Peridot abandons her quest and slips down south, putting a hand on each thigh. Amethyst tips her head back on the pillow and closes her eyes, bringing to mind things that get her off as the bullet lightly brushes her clit; well-written smut, good nsfw art art she'd seen, even a muted anime porn or two, though most of those were too unsettling to interest her. Peridot switches speeds whenever she thinks its' been on one for too long, soothingly massaging her thighs, her hips, her stomach.

Finally, she lifts off the bed, grinding down on her hand with short little thrusts before turning to jello, sending her a thumbs up.

She switched off the vibrator and set it on the table to be cleaned later, crawling up to lay on Amethyst's side. The woman pulled her closer for an obnoxiously loud raspberry on the cheek.

"Thanks, Peri." She hummed contentedly, bumping her shoulder. "You did good. _Real_ good."

"Thanks."

"You still up for that movie?"

"Are you up for walking? I mean, you just had an orgasm."

"It's a little sensitive, but I've yet to reach a climax where I couldn't walk after. You're good, but you ain't _that_ good."

"Fair enough," Peridot says. "Do you like Camp Pining Hearts?"

"That drama show from _ages_ ago?"

"Yes. It's perfect."

"It hasn't aged very well."

"Neither has Mr. Butler."

"You take that back."

Peridot intertwined their legs with a sheepish grin. "Can we cuddle first?"

"Shoot, Peri, of _course_ we can cuddle. You're warm and cute. But if Carnelian busts in, it's karma out to get me."

"Huh?"

"I cuddle-blocked Carny, and she is more than salty enough to wait until she knows I'm cuddling to call me or bust the door open."

" _Okay_."

"That sounded weirder than I thought it would."

"It sounds like a weird situation all the way around."

"Yeah. Kinda. I'mma take a nap now."

"Sounds good. I think I'll join you."

 **Author's Note: Uh-oh. Where in the world is Rose Quartz?**

 **Oh, let's be real. Ya'll know me. I haven't written pointless fluff in, like, a year. My friend remarked today; "Your form of fluff usually includes someone getting their arm chopped off." This is incorrect. It's usually an eye. Or some fingers. Both, if you're Connie.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Warnings: Cursing and mild sexual discussion**

 **...**

Amethyst is still in her apartment a week or so later, but Peridot finds she doesn't actually mind that. She's made it clear she doesn't posses a job, but still manages to bring home money, which she uses to pay for a blanket, pillow, and food. It's safe to say the couch is now her's.

It's not like she can't ask her to leave, and she's sure Amethyst would go, but Peridot finds she enjoys her company. It's _nice_ to come home from a long day of work to find her with a movie on, or taking a break to recharge from a long essay paper to answer her questions- all of which are silly things, including but not limited to, "Are you gonna go all evil super-villain and take over the world with your 'bots one day?", "Can a Wall-E even be built? Is he built-able?", and "Are Transformers possible? _Please_ tell me they're possible."

She's not particularly demanding, either. Amethyst is a force of nature, when she chooses to be, but usually she chooses to be the pillow for her head, or a sleeping giant under the covers. Her voice is naturally loud, but when she's into a movie she'll go quiet, only shouting when the action parts flash by. She eats, sleeps, and follows Peridot to bed to cuddle, and that's about it.

"I'm like a Slakoth, bro," she tells her, once. "I got a Slow Start, followed by being a total beast."

She also tends to go around the apartment in boxers and a thin shirt, sans bra. There's that too.

"Is it weird to, like, ask for sex?"

Amethyst's hands are absolutely smothered with butter as she pops another handful of popcorn into her mouth. "Right now?"

"No, I mean as a boundary. Is it odd for me to just _ask_ to bang later that night?"

"Askin' is pretty important to the whole sex thang, Peri. Consent, and all that."

"Right. You just don't really seem interested unless I prod you first."

"Nah, Peri. S'not like that. I get a hankering from time to time just like everybody else.\; I just use my hands and get it over with, is all."

"What if I wanted to help? Not _all_ the time, of course, but here and there?"

"Then you're welcome to, unless I say I'm not in the mood."

"Okay. I'm just trying to learn my boundaries."

She shrugged. "No worries, brah. If I don't like something, the whole neighborhood'll know."

They lapse back into silence. Peridot is about to quiz her on her favorite YouTube gamers when her cell rings. Amethyst stands up to gesture and pace as she speaks, switching between Spanish and English. Peridot notices she has an old-fashioned flip phone. Amethyst caught her eye and made a crude pumping motion with her hand. Peridot found herself giggling.

"Just makin' sex jokes with the gf. You?" She hears her say. There's a pause, followed by a friendly; "No, _you_ can't make sex jokes with my gf. Get your own."

They chat for a few more minutes, then Amethyst hung up. "My fam wants me to come over for the game. You wanna go?"

"Are they as high-energy as Carnelian? Because I don't know if I'm up to handling an entire house of Carnelians."

Amethyst flopped back onto the couch. She was smiling. "Nah. If I'm a Slakoth, then they're _Slakings_. They got a super mega Slow Start."

"That reminds me; does Slakoth even _have_ Slow Start? I feel like that's an evolution thing. Or was it just Regigigas?"

"Fuck, man, I dunno. I don't really pay attention to abilities and natures and stuff."

"Casual."

She winked. "You know it."

Peridot fell against her side. Amethyst's arm went around her waist. "Are we?"

"Are we what?"

"Girlfriends."

"Oh. Uh, good question? I just figured gf was an easy label for this. We don't gotta, like, take it seriously."

"Do you want to?"

"Do _you_?"

"Slakoth used evade! It wasn't very effective."

"Dork." She pressed a kiss to Peridot's pointy little nose. "You're cute, and really smart, and your voice is so nasally and adorable. Not to mention your hands are really soft for somebody who builds robots and types shit all day. What's not to like?"

Peridot's heart began to race, as it does when a decision that's even slightly big is presented to her. "Most of me wants to, but I also feel all fluttery and antsy."

"Good butterflies or bad butterflies?"

She swallowed. "Bad."

"Take some deep breathes, Peri. You got a favorite tune? We can listen to your favorite tune. Is cuddling too much?"

"Yes."

"'Kay." Amethyst shifted over a couch cushion. "You wanna chat?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"I didn't know you could speak Spanish."

Amethyst chuckles. "Our step-ma lived in this little Spanish community in town. Nice place, really. Pretty sure that's the only reason I can cook at all."

"Are you fluent?"

"Sorta. I don't know many big words."

"Do you now any endearments?"

"Sure do. Want me to call you some?"

"I mean, it's your choice."

"Lemme think on it. I want to find the perfect one for you."

Peridot nods and pulls her knees closer. She's beginning to feel a bit calmer, now. "I'm surprised. I didn't expect- this is gonna sound a little racist, and I'm sorry in advance. Can I sound a little racist?"

"Is this gonna be offensive racist or I-didn't-mean-to-be-but-I-was-and-I'll-change-that racist?"

"The latter."

"Shoot."

"You didn't have the accent, so I just _assumed_ you only knew English."

"Ah. Yeah, I was old enough that it didn't really stick."

"I know you aren't of Spanish descent. At least, I think?"

"Nah."

"Okay. I just assumed you weren't, and that was stupid."

"You know a second language?"

Her supposedly cute nose wrinkled. "Basic French."

"Nice. Don't worry about it. I only ever use it to mess with my fam. They don't speak it."

"I underestimated you without reason. That's fucked up."

Amethyst hesitantly crawled into her lap. Peridot's fingers wove into her long hair, letting the soft sensation busy her. It's not as overwhelming as perhaps it might've been.

"You gonna be okay hanging with the fam?" Amethyst sounded worried. "We don't gotta go."

Peridot shook her head. "I'm feeling better now. Just tired. Like how a good cry drains you."

"Take a nap. I don't mind if you drool on my tights."

"You lap _is_ a nice spot, but I kind of like how it is right now. You're a nice blanket."

Amethyst happily settled in. "Ame blanket it is, then."

* * *

The Puma family has three houses to its' name, Amethyst tells her. Carnelian's house, Skinny's house, and the so-called Fam house.

"They all live in the Fam house, for the most part." Amethyst hits the turn signal. "S'got three floors and a basement and some of 'em still have to take the couch and lounge chairs."

"What do they do? Career-wise, I mean."

"Y'know, that's a good question. I _think_ some of 'em are working stiffs, but I got no clue where. Probably bouncers or strippers or somethin'; my one cousin, we call her Kitty, has got the legs and the upper body strength of a _goddess_. I'd be willing to bet lots of folks would pay to watch her pole dance."

Peridot switches between excited and anxious as Amethyst drives. She doesn't like the lack of control driving gives you; sure, alcohol numbs your self-restraint, but at least it can't make you blow up from a faulty gas line.

She's well aware this is overthinking things. She also knows that knowing that doesn't help.

The Puma household is three stories tall, as promised, surprisingly plain, and lacking any cars in the driveway. The yard needs a good trimming; it's not long, per say, so much as _unkempt_ , the bushes sticking up in odd directions. She saw a greenhouse, and highly doubted it was normal plants being grown, but knew not to say anything. Amethyst pulled in.

The front door swung open just as she cut the engine, and a woman that could've passed for Amethyst on steroids and stilts came out to greet them. Peridot admired her snapback and cheap white shirt as she picks her off the ground for a greeting hug.

 _This is gay_ , her mind tells her. _You're really gay_.

"We're all set up." The lady tells Amethyst.

"Real classy, cuz," Amethyst says. "At least give her your name, buy her some dinner, _somethin'_."

"Whoops. Sorry. I'm 8XJ."

"Excuse me?"

"Family joke. We like to think we're funny."

"They name each other after imaginary radio stations." Amethyst tells her. "Well, except for me, Carny, and Skinny."

"Is this like the Ruby family?"

"This is _exactly_ like the Ruby family," 8XJ promises, then leads them both inside, Peridot still being held like a teddy bear. The woman drops her onto an old beaten sofa and disappears into what Peridot assumes is the kitchen. There's three couches piled into the living room, with a decently large TV as the focal point. The coffee table is full of chips and soda.

"Is football a big deal around here, or..."

"We like watchin' people fight." Amethyst shrugs.

"Football is a sport."

"Full of people rammin' each other."

"Touche."

Ladies come and go with no real direction. Peridot recognizes Carnelian at a distance, as well as an albino woman Amethyst calls Skinny.

"Ahh, so _that's_ where you've been," she says, ruffling Amethyst's hair. "Started to think you skipped town, but nah, just got a cute gf."

"Yeah, yeah, whatevs."

Skinny shakes Peridot's hand and shambles off. People come and go, until finally a familiar face turns the corner.

"Pearl?" She asks.

"Pierogi!" Amethyst cheers.

"Peridot? What're you- oof!- what're you doing here?" Pearl finds herself with a small woman clutching her legs in a hug and lifts her into her arms, blue eyes buzzing with questions. She's wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. "I wasn't aware you two knew each other."

"Ditto."

"Carnelian set us up." Amethyst tells her excitedly. "We bangin'."

Pearl's nose wrinkles, but she doesn't hesitate to plop Amethyst back on the couch and join them. "Well, congratulations, I guess."

"Why're _you_ here?" Peridot butted in. Pearl has friends everywhere, she knew, but this just seemed outrageous. "You always struck me as the type to hate football."

She waved a dainty hand. "Oh, I'm not into sports, but I always enjoy looking at strategies."

Amethyst melts companionably against her side. "It's a buncha dudes fightin' over a ball, P. Ain't much to strategize."

"It's a team sport for a reason." Pearl defends, then sends them both a sheepish smile. "And, admittedly, I'm not against the fighting part either."

"Eww. Get a dildo, horndog."

"Amethyst Puma, do you _want_ to never eat my snickerdoodles ever again?"

Amethyst lets out the screech of a particularly displeased cat. "Okay, okay! _Sorry_."

"Pro-tip," Pearl tells Peridot. "Always threaten her cookies. If that doesn't work, shoot for pizza."

* * *

There's a lot of names and numbers Peridot won't remember as the Famethyst crowd the TV, but she feels herself relaxing nonetheless. They're loud and rowdy, especially together, but the Pumas seem like agreeable people, and they enjoy her presence.

"She's gonna make a Wall-E one day," Amethyst tells them proudly.

"Boo, make Goddard. He was god-tier." 8XL says.

"Nah, dude. Robot Boy was where it was _at_."

"Am I the only one who remembers XJ-9? 'Cause she inspired my number-name," the one Amethyst nicknamed as Kitty (short for Ol' Kitty Ears) calls out.

"She had, like, eight siblings, too. More similarities."

"Yeah, but they sucked. Fighting-wise, I mean. I liked the radio one."

"Wasn't Aku's guys a buncha robots?"

"They only did that to get away with all the murder."

"Can I intrude?"

"Shoot, Pearl."

"Megatron is also a viable option."

"Duuude, that fucker _never_ knew when to die."

"The whole planet would be doomed."

"Nice."

They hoot and cheer as someone makes a touchdown. Peridot swallows a handful of really cheap chips and leans over to mutter in Amethyst's ear. "I have absolutely no clue what's going on."

Amethyst leans back. "You make it sound like any of us _do_ , bro."

"But-"

"Tackle-fights, my dude. Tackle-fights."

"Can we turn it down?" Pearl calls out unexpectedly. "I've got a phone call."

Carnelian stands to adjust the volume manually. No one's sure where the remote is. "This good?"

She nods and hits answer. Her lips tighten as a deep voice comes across the line, but it's too muffled to make out the words.

"You're sure?" Pause. "Damnit, not now." Again. "I'll check it out. Bye." Pearl flicks the phone shut with an authoritative air. "Turn to the news."

"Which channel?"

Pearl tells them. There's a brief scramble for the remote- turns out it was crammed under a shovel-faced woman Peridot can't remember the name or number of- and they flip to a news story about a protest a few towns over. There's a big stage, and picket signs, but Peridot can't read them- the footage is too blurry. The woman leading them looks to be heavily pregnant.

"Holy shit." Amethyst breathes. Her face is scrunched to hold in giggles. "Is that _Rose_?"

"It _is_ Rose!" Pearl explodes, throwing her hands up. Peridot has never seen the woman this ruffled before. "She's been gone for _days_ \- this close to having a _baby_ \- protesting some crummy _college administration_ , and- and..." She's breathing heavily now. "What the _fuck_?"

Amethyst falls back, laughing hysterically.

"Yo!" Carnelian shouts. "What a badass!"

"Can I marry this woman?" 8XL crows. "She's my hero now."

"Amethyst, quit your laughing right this instant." Pearl snaps, turning a ferocious glare on her shaking form. "What if she goes into labor?"

"She's not _that_ close, P." Amethyst wipes her face as she sits up, hooking an arm around Peridot's shoulders. "Eyy, Peri. Whattaya think?"

"Is this... _normal_?"

"Pretty much. Rose never could leave well enough alone. Loves to fight the man. She's been antsy lately- no protests 'round here- but I never expected her to pull _this_."

"She's _pregnant_." Pearl thunders. "She should be at home, where she can be comfortable. What if the cops poke their noses in? What if tear gas gets involved? What if she gets _arrested_?"

"It's a buncha hippies, Peal. They probably cried when they chopped the trees to make that sign. It's _not_ gonna escalate." She kicked her feet up. "Rose knows better. She wouldn't risk the baby."

She crossed her arms. "I don't like it."

"Honestly, this is much better than football." Skinny shuffled forward in her seat. "Carny, turn it up."

They watch the news until dinner, when they part ways to go home. Peridot notices a much looser swing to Amethyst's stride as they go.

 **Author's Note: "It's not gonna escalate!" My readers: "LIES."**

 **Throws a handful of old references and silly Pokemon jokes (I'm well-aware that Slakoth and Slaking have Slack-off; hence their names) at you all**

 **-Mandaree1**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Warnings: nudity, cursing.**

 **...**

Peridot trails indulgent kisses across Amethyst's belly, fingers following the lighter color of her stretch marks. Amethyst giggles at her probing, maybe just a little ticklish.

Peridot leans back. In just a pair of boxers, Amethyst is the epitome of comfort, gazing at her with half-lidded eyes. Her heavy breasts rest nicely on her equally heavy stomach, hanging halfway out of their waistband. Peridot felt a little jealous of her size and beauty, vastly inadequate in her PJ pants and shirt, but Amethyst looked no less interested in spite of her small chest and awkward limbs.

"It's gettin' late," Amethyst whispered into the silence. "Better turn a light on before it gets too dark."

"I hear darkness is romantic."

"Maybe, but it's also a pain in the ass."

"Honestly? I'm just too lazy to go flick the switch."

"Same." She made grabbing gestures, pulling Peridot to her chest. As always, she felt like a heated pillow. "Let's just sleep."

"It's a good thing I'm not horny right now. I might feel cheated."

"If you were _that_ horny you woulda gotten your little ass up and turned the stupid light on, then sprinted back and jumped onto the bed to get it on."

"That sounds silly."

"Also cute."

"My imaginary self thanks you."

Amethyst snorted. Peridot finds herself laughing with her, burying her face in the woman's shoulder. The next thing she knows a phone is ringing in the living room, Amethyst pulling away with a sleepy grumble. Peridot listens to her bare feet clunk down the hallway.

This... it's been nice.

Peridot still isn't quite sure where they stand, and, judging by how relieved Amethyst was to change to subject when she started to fuss over it, talking to her now would be a bit like pulling teeth. But she wants to. She wants to give this a try. Amethyst hiccups when she laughs and her smirk is oddly adorable and she could sleep next to her forever, save for the warmer months. When summer hits, she's going back to the couch.

"What the FUCK?"

Peridot startles so hard she sits halfway up. The tone of her voice has her slipping into a pair of brown shorts and a t-shirt, sans undergarments. She hears her talking, the force of nature that is her voice roaring as she gets closer, confusion and anger and fear all at once. It's potent, and heady, and not in a good way.

Amethyst is pacing in front of the sofa, boobs jiggling uncomfortably as she jerks into the turns. There's no makeup or smile on her face. There's a short stint of fast-paced Spanish, then; "What the fuck. Oh, what the fuck. Fuck me."

She turns.

"I can't just- you can't just- what about the fam?"

Another turn. Amethyst's voice hitches.

"Oh, fuck you. You don't get to do that." Amethyst violently waves a hand like she's miming throwing a baseball but doesn't make it all the way through. "They're my family. You can't just- say that again and I'll beat the shit outta you."

A shudder racked Peridot's spine. Sick at heart, she crawled onto the sofa, pulling her knees to her chest. It's weird and off-putting to see Amethyst so twitchy, yet also so still. Her hands move, but her spine is solid, like how one manipulates an puppet.

"Shut the fuck up. Call me when you can talk to be without bein' an ass." Amethyst flips the phone closed, pressing her hands to her face. She stumbled backwards, plopping down next to her. "Holy shit."

"Amethyst?"

"We're leaving Ocean Town. Holy shit."

" _What_?"

Amethyst hardly seems to hear her. The phone is dangling from her fingers. "I just got to meet my fam. Jasper's in fuckin' jail- I'm gonna leave her to the fucking slammer. Ain't nobody outside of this town who knows or cares 'bout me."

"Amethyst?"

"This is fucking bullshit."

" _Amethyst_ ," Peridot hisses through her teeth, grabbing her arms. "What happened?"

The woman seems to swell for a second. Peridot has a sudden and a rather humbling reminder that Amethyst has been to a juvenile detention center for stabbing a fellow human being. It's not that she doesn't trust her- she's just a little wary.

Amethyst's eyes flicker away. "It's nothing."

"Amethyst Puma, you are currently having a panic attack in my living room." So is she, judging by her use of long words to spell out the obvious. "That's _not_ nothing."

She opens her mouth, then closes it. Shakes her head. "Notebook."

"Notebook?"

"I need a notebook, _okay_?" She explodes, thrusting her body forward in a fit. Peridot's ass hits the floor, and when she gets herself together Amethyst's wiping water out of her eyes with brutal force. "I don't talk too good right now," she says wetly, "too much goin' on."

Mildly miffed that she didn't apologize, Peridot retrieved her laptop. They waited in silence as the machine booted up, as she typed in her password, as she handed it over to her with an open word doc.

Amethyst hesitates. She types chicken peck. _Protest got broken up. One lady dead._

"Rose?"

Amethyst shakes her head. _Random administrative lady. Sword. Like an episode of Clue. Right through the belly. In a bathroom._

"Did anyone see?"

She shrugged helplessly. No one knew. _Rose wants us to move after the case is closed. Says it's not safe. Pulling her in for questioning. Suspect._ She shoves the whole thing into her lap, turning away.

There's a lot of unfortunate things that can be taken from Rose's sudden concern for her safety and the safety of her unborn child so soon after the protest, but it could very well be that she doesn't want that kind of legacy following him- the big pregnant lady who led some college kids against their superintendents, or whatever else the case may have been. It occurs to Peridot, not for the first time, that she's never met this woman before and yet she's seriously trying to find a way to excuse her from murder. Granted, if only to ease Amethyst's nerves, but it's an excuse nonetheless.

"Has she," Peridot paused, "did she say anything about it?"

Amethyst shrugged, then shook her head. "Only that the cops are keeping her for a little bit."

"You're okay with talking now?"

"It's complicated. Some things are too much, some things aren't."

 _"It's complicated" has never been more of an understatement._ "Do you really think she would? I mean, is there an actual worry here?"

"Maybe? Yes? I don't know."

"You don't?"

" _I don't_." She haphazardly let her head fall onto her knees. "What even is fuck right now."

"That's not structurally correct, but I understood that sentence on a spiritual level."

Amethyst made a noise caught between a laugh and a sob. Peridot edged over and wrapped an arm around her.

"I like you," she admitted, mostly to her hair. "I like how you laugh and how your fingers are so clunky and how soft you are. I especially like your scar, which is weird, since I prefer things to be symmetrical. I want to help you, and I want to learn about you. Maybe I even want to fall in love with you. Mostly, I just want you to know that I'm here."

"We could text," Amethyst offered hesitantly. She snorted as gracefully as a bullhorn blows. "Beach City is only a couple hours away."

" _Or_ , I could move with you."

"Peri, no-"

"Relax. I'm not dropping my college courses, no matter _how_ cute you are. I have a car- I'll use it. Lazuli is moving into an old barn somewhere near there- I'll ask to share space until I get my things around."

"Doesn't she have a kid?"

"Mala likes me. She thinks my bum hand is the bee's knees."

" _Please_ tell me you didn't just say 'bee's knees.'"

"I did and you can't shame me for that."

Amethyst laughed weakly and sat up, rubbing her eye. "Bleech. I hate crying. I feel shitty afterwards."

"Are you okay?"

"No. But I'm past the panic stage, which is a good start."

"You wanna go cuddle? Maybe a nap will help."

"Honestly? I don't really wanna be touched right now. I'm overly sensitive and overly emotional and just not a good dude to deal with."

Peridot politely retrieved her arm, taking the other cushion. "I've got a couple seasons of Mythbusters on the DVR. We could put it on low."

Amethyst nodded, swallowing. "Noise sounds good."

She reached out, snatched up the remote, and flicked on the TV.

 _I just offered to move to a different state with a woman I hardly know. And she didn't refuse._ Peridot blankly stared at the screen. She thought they might be building a catapult, but for the life of her didn't know why. _I have officially lost control of my life._

While concerned, she found herself accepting the knowledge rather easily. The decision was made. The date was set. Nothing to do about it now. She would surely begin to panic as said date got closer, but for now all she felt was numbness.

A pudgy finger pushed her shoulder. "Hey, Peri? Thanks. You're a good nerd."

"No problem."

"More like a billion problems, really."

"When's your birthday?"

"Why?"

"I'm making you a Wall-E action figure. I think you've earned it."

"They always say to get a girl who can cook," she said affectionately. "I got one who builds Wall-Es. I like to think I got the better deal out of this."

"Hey, I can cook! My Chef Boyardee is a masterpiece of tomato sauce and fake ravioli."

Amethyst laughed, breaking off into a cough. Peridot went and got her a roll of toilet paper to blow her nose with.

 **Author's Note: Things starting to get real, ya'll.**

 **Rose isn't planning on sticking around after being accused of killing PD. YD and BD probably won't take too well to her after this. Pearl was the one who called. She's a bit snappish when she's freaking out.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Warnings: cursing**

 **...**

 **NighttimePhilosopher \- Thanks!**

 **MM (April 19)- Thank you!**

 **...**

The world seems to be lacking texture at two in the morning, but perhaps that's just Amethyst. The gravel on the driveway digs into her feet, but it doesn't feel sharp. The leather on the seat feels cold, but it doesn't give her goosebumps. Pearl squawks at her as she curls into a ball, sans seatbelt, but it doesn't make her angry. She knows the woman is just stressed.

In the front seat is Rose and Garnet, Garnet driving, Rose sitting with her hands protectively cradling her large stomach. Greg drove ahead to get the nursery and a bed ready for when they arrive; they all agreed early on that there was no way Rose was sleeping on the floor.

Amethyst feels too numb to sleep. Today was quickly building into one of those quiet days, where she hung out and did nothing. She's too exhausted for much else.

They hit a road bump. Pearl's fingers clenched in her lap. Rose's eyes flickered up to look into the rear view mirror, as if gauging their reaction. It's dead quiet. A small, morbid part of her latched on to how calm the woman was about all of this and ran with it, drawing up wild theories of past murders.

Amethyst turned a small circle, leaning her back on the armrest. The cold glass on the window almost seemed to sting. She pulled out her phone and went to contacts, sending a text to Peridot. _Hey, babe._

A response popped up almost immediately. _I'm dying._

 _You're dying?_

 _I'm dying._

 _Why are you dying?_

 _Lapis keeps the air-conditioner cranked up 24/7. I'm wearing my PJs. Send help._

Something reminiscent of a smile crossed her features. _Wishing you luck in Valhalla, Peri._

 _Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. I doubt this counts as a warriors death._

 _You're trekking into the unknown in an air-induced blizzard. That sounds pretty heroic to me._

 _Does that make you the damsel in distress?_

Pearl tapped her ankle. "Stop shaking your leg. It's rocking the car."

Amethyst stuck her tongue out at her. Force of habit. _Save me, hero! Save me from the evil reign of the white dragon!_

 _Isn't Pearl a purple heart recipient?_

 _Yupper-do. I think she killed so many mofos they were too scared not to, or smth._

 _Sorry, m'lady, but you're on your own._

 _You don't want the spoils of your rescue?_

 _Is that a euphemism for sex?_

 _It most definitely is a euphemism for sex._

There's a pause. _Is this weird? Joking around like this._

Amethyst bumps the window button with her elbow, scrambling to put it back up. Rose giggles. She thinks it's a bit fucked up that she's giggling while on the run from the cops. Not literally, but you get the point. _Jokes make the world go round, baby. We laugh the hardest when we're clutching at our shit._

 _That's weird._

 _Yup yup yup_

 _Have you ever heard of the term absquatulate?_

 _No?_

 _It means to leave abruptly. That's what we're doing. Absquatulate-ing._

 _Huh. Neat._ Amethyst tried to imagine Peridot squinting at her screen, double-checking her spelling and grammar. It's two in the morning. She shouldn't have to deal with this. _Sorry. You barely even know me but you're giving up everything for me. Going the extra mile for the V._

 _I think it's more for the cuddles than it is the sex._

That's highly relatable. _We're going to be in two different houses_

 _For now. Give me time and I'll cobble up enough money to get us a place._

 _I'll help_

 _I know._

Amethyst dozes off for a bit. They're still driving when she wakes, and there's an unanswered message on her phone.

 _I wouldn't mind getting to know you._

She hesitates, then sends a simple _K_.

Another pause. Peridot probably fell asleep too. _What's the story on Jasper?_

Of course. Jasper. That woman she had to leave behind. _She's an ass_

 _So I've heard. Lapis seems to hate her._

 _That's totally justified, tbh_

 _Do you hate her?_

Something heavy and tight shifted in her belly. Amethyst never was good at personal. _No._

 _Why not?_ A second message. _Wait, no, that came out terrible._

 _It's okay. Jasper didn't have to come with me, you know? Rents thought I was a waste since The Man wouldn't pay for me. Too many kids or whatever. Jasper was, like, thirteen, but she gave it up to take care of me. I kinda owe her a life debt or whatever._

 _Wow_

 _Thanks._

 _I'm sorry._

 _It's your turn._

 _K. My parents want me to be perfect. The usual controlling MO. They technically paid for my apartment, which I then gladly defiled with my love of women._

 _You rebel!_

 _I should be a leather jacket lesbian._

 _You shooooould my dude. I dunno why I love this but I do._

 _Talking?_

 _You being a smartass to those that wronged you, or whatever._

"Amethyst, who are you talking to?"

"Peri," she said without looking up. She could feel Pearl's eyes on her. "We're sexting."

Garnet's lips quirk. "Better not be. Not in my car, anyhow."

"This is a rental."

"Which _I'm_ paying for."

Amethyst rolled her eyes and slumped into her seat. _I'm getting read the riot act._

 _Mala keeps asking me questions I'm not sure I'm supposed to answer. "Are you and Amethyst friends?" Shit. I don't know._

 _Lol. No worries. Lapis is hella into ladies_

 _Yes, but is MALA aware of that?_

 _IDK._

 _She wants to say hi._

 _Hi, kiddo._

There's a few hours left before they reach Beach City. Amethyst feels the beginnings of car sickness eating at her. _Gotta go, but it's gonna be okay, okay?_

 _Okay._

 **Author's Note: Short filler chapter, but I felt it was necessary. Some background and cute character moments! =)**

 **-Mandaree1**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **...**

 **erm (May 15)- Relax, my dude. I'm far from finished with this story. =)**

 **...**

"You're _absolutely_ a Hufflepuff," Peridot asserts, twiddling her thumbs. She swirls the good one soothingly around the bad, slower one, feeling the softness on the skin. "I don't know what your friend was thinking. You fit to a tee."

Lapis glances at Peridot out of the corner of her eye, cruising into a turn lane. "I've never read Harry Potter in my life, but that better be a compliment."

"I'm only saying that Mala is loyal and dedicated. That's all." Peridot shared a conspiring look with the young girl. "That, dear Malachite, is a Slytherin at work. Take note."

"Okay, even _I_ know Slytherin are the bad guys." Lapis takes a hand off the wheel to blindly swat at her. "So screw you."

Peridot yelped, shuffling to the other side of the passenger seat with a glare. "Some of the more notable villains _happen_ to be Slytherin, yes, but Slytherin isn't a bad house. Slytherins are ambitious and sly- those aren't bad traits."

"So this is kinda like how ShadowClan is full of evil cats just because their fighting tactics are night-based?" She gave a slow nod. "That makes sense."

"I've never read a Warrior Cats book in my life, but I assume so."

"I have!" Mala chirped, leaning forward eagerly. "Tigerstar got cut open from chin to belly! He died, like, nine times at once. They had a whole page about it."

"...What the fuck, Lapis?"

"Language," Lapis scolded, moving into the outer lane There weren't many vehicles in Beach City- just one sports car that didn't seem to play well with others, and she was fairly certain it might be lowkey trying to run them off the road. "They're kids books. I'm not exactly fond of the sexism and ableism in them- the mild homophobia isn't exactly pretty either; two canon gay couples, none of them were allowed in the books to be canon, s'like fricking Dumbledore, yes, Peri, we all now about Dumbledore- but the side characters are worth wading through the shit."

"I thought cursing wasn't allowed," Peridot protested, feeling cheated.

"I'm her mother. I can do what I like. _You're_ two parties away from stranger danger."

"Touche."

Mala was nodding in the rearview mirror. "I like Hollyleaf. She's gay."

"You're damn right she is, baby." Lapis nodded soulfully, jerking into a parking lot. "Look alive, fellow deadbeats. We're here."

They all only have a box each to their names- in Mala's case, a box and a bookbag- so unloading is easy. Lapis leads the way into the apartment building- it's small, only three stories, but it's only real cash grab was in catering vacationers during the warm months, which is always this close to the ocean- with a saunter that is less confident and more uncaring. They're on the top floor, far back.

"It's only a two bedroom, seeing how you were an unexpected add-on," Lapis explains as she jiggles the key into the lock. "And I wasn't gonna, like, _decline_ an offer with only a few days until the move to spare just to try and find a bigger one. So... yeah, couch is your's."

"No, no, that's totally understandable." Peridot shifted her box awkwardly. "No offense, but could you hurry? My hand doesn't hold weight very well."

"I could carry it," Mala offered.

"Sweetie, you couldn't even see over the two boxes," said Lapis. "Let Peridot carry it. See, now we're in, it's all good."

Peridot heaved, set the box down by the entrance, and flopped onto the couch. She doesn't know how or when it got there, only that it's her's, puke green color and all, and that's all that matters.

"We should've bought Dixie Plates," Lapis mused as she headed down the hall. "Then again, it's not like we have anything to cook something that required Dixie Plates _on_. Peridot, you got any food allergies?"

"I hate tacos and spices," she called down the hall. "But otherwise I'm good."

"How does Amethyst put up with you?" Lapis called back, sounded amused and mystified all at once.

"She likes my nose."

"It is pretty button-esque," she admitted, reemerging from the far left door. "Mala, you wanna check out your room?"

"Yes!"

Peridot takes a deep breaths and turns out, trying to become comfortable in her new environment. _At least Mala takes change well._ She closed her eyes. _I'll check for jobs tomorrow. We'll work from there._

* * *

Amethyst's first priority in the new house is to take a nap. As far as she's concerned, it's not a real home until you've slept in a pile of your own filth in it, and it's best to get that out of the way fast.

They get Rose settled into the only bed while she's out, and by the time she's awake dinner is gone. Amethyst makes complaining noises but otherwise doesn't hold it against them. She'd do the same thing.

Amethyst originally intended to go swimming before dark, maybe peruse the boardwalk for a bit, but Greg's fiddling with his guitar on the porch and that's... it's complicated. She leaves complicated stuff alone.

For all her adaptability, Pearl is the exact opposite of happy in new places. She paces around the house, frowning at the walls like they've personally insulted her honor. Garnet finally convinces her to lay down on their little floor nest around one in the morning, then gets Amethyst to lay with them. Pearl starts braiding her hair, something she's never been fond of, but she lets it slide.

"I hope ya'll realize nobody is gonna hire me," she says conversationally. "I kinda stabbed somebody once."

"It'll be fine," said Garnet, with far too much confidence. Amethyst lets that slide too.

 _I forgot to give Skinny a call. Shit. She must think I've forgotten about her and the girls already._ Amethyst squeezed her eyes shut in lieu of letting them water and hoped they'd forgive her. _I abandoned all of them. It's bullshit. I've got no guts_. Again, she thought of Greg. _That's different. I insulted him somehow; I didn't ditch him. Whatever. We were both drunk as hell. It's probably not even about_ that. _I've said and done worse to pretty much everybody here. Wow, I'm an ass._

Pearl buried her nose in Amethyst's pale mane. A quiet snore vibrated against her neck soon after. Amethyst turns around, pressed her forehead into the woman's collarbone, and went back to sleep. It's always been easy to sleep a lot, for her. More than most people usually sleep. It's a gift.

 **Author's Note: TFW Slow Start wears off and Insecurity is HIGHLY EFFECTIVE.**

 **I am mildly salty about my kitty books, and now so is Lapis.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **...**

 **erm (May 29)- Thanks! =)**

 **...**

"Tbh, I don't even know how Garnet swung it." Amethyst swirled the straw on her strawberry milkshake thoughtfully, chin propped up by her hand. "I'm a straight criminal, yo. And I don't, like, try to hide or apologize for that. When the dude asked me about my record, I looked him the eye and told him I stabbed somebody. Like. With a knife. Still hired me."

Peridot found herself spluttering, trying not to choke on her snack. Fry bits, the boy at the counter had called them. " _Please_ tell me there wasn't an actual knife involved."

"Does it really matter? It's still assault."

"...Touche. If I can do the whole vice versa thing- does it matter that Garnet helped? I mean, as long as you got the job, does it matter _how_ you got it?"

Amethyst shrugged, eyes half-drooped from laziness and some residual brain freeze. She'd never been good with cold foods. "Kinda? Not really. It just feels like I didn't earn it, I guess? Everybody else has to prove they deserve to work for the biz, but all I did was sit back and let Miss Muscles do the talking." Her eyes flickered downwards. "What's even the point, then?"

Peridot reached out and grabbed one of her pudgy hands, squeezing it. " _I_ think you'll be perfect. You're sassy, you're bold, you don't take shit from people who aren't doing anyone any good, you look good in a uniform."

She giggled, snorting halfway through. "You don't know that."

"I'm picturing it in my mind. Blue is _absolutely_ your color."

The past week and a half had been... stressful. Peridot had taken morning classes with the thought that she lived close enough to the school to jog over, but now she had to get herself up and out of the apartment much earlier to drive. On top of that she had to find herself a job, working mid afternoons. Lapis had started trusting her to watch over Mala as well, working third shift at the factory, so she was caught between doing her coding and teaching algebraic equations. Peridot had only just gotten the time to nap and shower in a heartfelt manner before calling Amethyst out for a meal. It was almost four in the morning, a bit chilly, the salty sea breeze bringing out goosebumps. Probably not the best time for a thin pink tee, but it looked cute on her and she felt like looking cute. "Can I just say I've missed this? These weird but somewhat philosophical conversations we have over, like, fry bits and stuff."

"You gonna finish those? I think I'm in love."

"With me, I hope."

"Well, I wouldn't trade you to the devil for a Klondike bar, if that means anything."

Amethyst made grabbing gestures with her hands. Peridot pushed them over. "Would you take me over cookies?"

"Don't push it, babe."

Peridot laughed. "I really _have_ missed this, though. We're not actually _doing_ anything, but... we are, too."

The woman blew a raspberry. "You're such a sap, Peri. Same though."

"Lapis must be rubbing off on me. Did you know she writes poetry?"

"Eyup. Some good smut, too." She burped. "Well, being real, it's actually pretty bad, but she's just starting out so I get it. She likes them tentacles."

"I didn't need that."

"Hmm?"

"I'm just _seeing_ her now. All bent over her desk. Writing about sex tentacles. Knowing her, it's probably hate sex."

"Hey, whatever gets her going. Was never really my cup of tea. Maybe if she starts writing oral or something."

She glanced around her, thankful it was too early for many people to be loitering around. Peridot wasn't entirely sure how Amethyst had gotten out of the house. She'd half expected the woman to be asleep when she called, but it'd picked up on the first ring. Sleep must not be coming to her well.

"Oh, shit, gimme a sec." Amethyst held up a finger as she retrieved her phone from her pocket. "Someone keeps calling." She fiddled with the buttons, then grimly set it on the cheap plastic table. "Fuckin' Pearl doesn't know how to lemme have my space since we moved."

"Shouldn't you see what she wants?"

"Why? It's probably to pick up some milk on the way home or something. Like, Jesus Christ, Pearl, learn how to fucking text."

It began vibrating once again. Amethyst swore even more.

"Just pick it up already, Amethyst," Peridot said testily. "There's no point in ignoring it."

Amethyst pouted visibly, then hit answer call, letting out a whistling breath. " _Hi_ , Pearl. I'm kinda, like, doing the romance thing here, so- whoa, whoa, relax, Pearl. Take some deep breaths. It's just some fry bits and milkshakes, nothin' serious... _what's that about Rose_?"

Peridot immediately tenses. If there's one thing she's learned, it's that calls about Rose equal bad times coming.

Amethyst stood up, slamming a hand down on the table. It just barely avoids knocking over the drinks. "Are you frickin' serious? The _one_ time I go out since we get here and _now_? _Now_ is the time? She's giving birth _now_? What the fuck, Pearl! Can't I just go out for a wine and dine and _not_ get a call about the end of the world?"

The yelp that leaves Peridot's throat is barely human. More cat, honestly, with a bit of guinea pig. " _AMETHYST PUMA HANG UP THAT PHONE AND GET IN MY CAR THIS INSTANT_."

She covered the receiver to shout back. "I'M BEING POLITE PERIDOT! _GODDAMN_."

Peridot grabs Amethyst by the arm, tugging her forcefully towards the exit. "Shut the fuck up and get moving."

* * *

Amethyst stays on the phone until they reach the hospital, reassuring a panicking Pearl that they would soon be along. Peridot admires her calm demeanor until catching notice of the stubby fingers winding and yanking on her long hair. She didn't seem to realize it hurt- that she was even doing it, for that matter.

Amethyst has no physical relation to Rose, in life or on paper, and isn't allowed back. Neither are Pearl or Garnet. Greg is, being her spouse, and leaves them to the waiting room. Peridot awkwardly holds onto Amethyst's arm and tries not to feel intimidated by the tall woman sitting still as stone next to her. Pearl paces the floors in front of them, mouth covered by her hand.

Peridot had never been privy to the inside of a hospital before. That sentence wasn't quite right- she'd spent plenty of time inside a hospital, healing from the car crash and going through physical therapy. But she didn't remember actually getting to the building itself; did they have to wait? She imagined not. An ambulance took them in, after all. The waiting room was bland and tasteless, as they're supposed to be, with vague art and even vaguer seats that felt neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. It was a bit like high school all over again- they made sure to remind you this never was and never would be your's. A heavy air settled across her shoulders, hot and stifling like an evil library, only there weren't any twelve year old's to cut the librarian's head off. People were both close and far, helping if someone needed help and sliding as far away as possible, content to wallow in whatever was affecting them personally. Save for the children, of course. They were screaming, crying, playing, whatever suited their fancy. But that's just how kids are.

Peridot drifts into a light nap as the hours go on, slouching against Amethyst's side. Amethyst's snores seem oddly subdued, like they themselves recognize the weight of the room.

Greg is led out by a nurse, frowning terribly. He looks exhausted but no less understanding. The way his shoulders slouch and he fiddles with his fingers speaks of bad as much as the phone call did.

"Something's wrong."

Pearl, in a surprising slip of her tongue, threatens to chop his dick off right then and there. Greg tells her that's fair and quietly sits next to Garnet, who pats his shoulder.

More and more people go in and out. Her nerves slowly fade into a peculiar sort of numbness that pressed into her temples. Breakfast had long since past, gurgling stomach acid in her belly. Peridot hadn't felt this worn out since she stayed up to write that ten thousand word Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction. Amethyst hasn't complained once, though she must feel about the same, maybe worse, so she keeps her lips shut and waits.

Eventually, the doctor calls Greg back, and he okays them following. She takes them into a small hallway, carpeted, leading to numerous examination rooms and probably a couple different bathrooms. She doesn't have a clipboard on her like they do in the movies. Her hands are in her pockets.

"You have a son, Mr. Universe," she informs them crisply, but not meanly. Peridot wonders when the last time _she_ ate was. "I'm afraid that's all you have."

* * *

She just wasn't built to carry, Dr. Maheswaran says. Something about genetics or perhaps physical childhood trauma. Rose birthed her baby into the world with as much dignity as a woman in mortal agony could, asking them to say she wanted him to be named Steven between spasms. She passed on not much later.

No one cries. No one can really believe it yet. Even Pearl, obviously the most outwardly emotional when it came to the woman, didn't let out a single tear. She curled her fingers into Amethyst's shoulder and said nothing. Amethyst flinched. When they start talking about what to do for her wake Pearl leads her down the hall and out the front doors, still without speaking. There's an unsettling look in Amethyst's eye as she passes Peridot, but she goes quietly, reminding her a bit of a condemned criminal.

"I'm sorry." She pats Garnet's thin arm. That wasn't too soon, was it?

Garnet shrugged. "We all go sometime. Rose was big into YOLO, go big or go home, the like; somehow, I'm really not surprised she ride or died with a baby."

"What now?"

She shrugged again. "We raise her kid, obviously. We being us, of course. I don't mean you. I don't know you."

"Duly noted. Perhaps... I could be the weird aunt that babysits?" Peridot glances at her shoes. Flip-flops don't seem like proper death attire. "If you need that sort of thing, I mean."

Garnet examines her. "Perhaps."

Fair enough.

They pass half an hour before it occurs to Peridot that Amethyst and Pearl haven't returned. Slipping out of the chair and pulling her shirt to settle more comfortably, she gingerly flip-flopped it out of the room they were in, out of the hallway the news came in, out of the waiting room where they sat for around ten hours, out of the sliding doors and into the real world. The natural sun hits her like a blow.

She's dead. She never met Rose, and now she's dead. She came here for nothing. They never would've had to leave Ocean Town, if only they'd been aware of what Rose was going through. Did Rose even know she wouldn't make it? It didn't seem likely.

She cut along the side of the building, twigs from the decorative bushes snagging the tender skin on top of her feet. There was an odd sense of unreality to all of this that hit her like a wave. Peridot literally had nothing to do with this. She wasn't grieving over a woman- she was grieving over the _concept_ of a woman, passed down from stories and hints. Was her hair really as curly as she'd been told? Did her shoulders really wiggle when she laughed? Peridot would never know first-hand.

"Fuck you!" Someone screams, and it's not Amethyst.

Peridot turns the final corner just in time to see Pearl hit Amethyst square in the jaw, knocking her off her feet. She hits the cracked asphalt of the parking lot with an grunt, just barely catching herself from hitting her back. Pearl looks perfect, untouched. Amethyst is a mess.

The tall woman jabbed a thin white finger at her chest. "You and your _stupid_ fucking games, Amethyst! She never would've met Greg if you hadn't pestered her to move to Ocean Town. She never would've _died_ , if only you'd kept your stupid mouth shut!"

"Hey!" She swatted the hand away, standing up on wobbly legs. Amethyst's jaw was beginning to swell. "I didn't pester her for nothin'. I tried to talk her out of it! And, yeah, maybe I liked Ocean Town. So what? That doesn't make me bad bitch! I just wanted my family, goddamnit!"

" _We_ were your family!" Pearl whapped her flat chest with the very tips of her fingers. "Not a bunch of _degenerates_ you didn't even know! Ohhh, you take and you take but you can never find it in your heart to give. And then you wonder where everyone goes! It's not complicated. You _want_ to be a ringleader, but you're not even a stagehand!"

Amethyst pushes her. It's not a particularly forceful push, but her arms are so thick and Pearl is so thin you'd think she just body slammed her. "Fuck off. You're gonna scare Peridot."

Pearl smiles. More of a sneer, really. Most of her teeth are showing. "You don't need my help to do that. How long until she gets a clue and leaves you? You'd think killing Rose would be enough."

"She's in the anger stage," she tells Peridot, ignoring that last sentiment. "She's a real bitch when she gets like this. Come'on, Peri. Let's go get somethin' to eat."

" _Fine_!" Pearl sniffs, straightening her spine. Her blue eyes are brighter than Peridot's ever seen them. Rage? Tears? At this distance, it's hard to tell. "Go! You were always shit at being responsible anyhow. _And don't you dare come back_."

Amethyst lifts an arm, hesitates, waiting for permission. Peridot nods. She wraps it around her shoulders and leads her away from the troubled woman. As soon as they're out of sight she immediately drops it, like even the touch it too much.

"Amethyst?"

"She's only a bad bitch in her words, y'know? Sure, she hit me, but it didn't hurt, honest." She glances at Peridot. "Wanna see what a real bad bitch does?"

Peridot doesn't answer. Amethyst whirls around, stomping over to the black van Greg had driven Rose to the hospital with. Peridot wondered how and when he'd sell it. He wouldn't find it in his heart to keep it, would he? A bittersweet memory can ruin even the most impersonal of objects.

Amethyst punches the passenger door. Keeps punching it. There's a dent. Peridot plucks up the courage to meet her on the pavement when she's through, slumping to the dirt. Her face is in her hands, knees to her chin. She's never been so small before. It was like she was missing a part of Amethyst, the th, and all that was left was Ameyst. Close, but not right.

"I think I'm fucked up, Peri."

"Because of what she said?"

"Because I know me. I know my life. Pearl was just bullshitting."

"You want to go get Pepe's Burgers?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just... lemme get my head back on first."

 **Author's Note: tbh, I wrote most of this at one in the morning (I was in a writing mood last night) so I'm actually shocked by how lucid this whole thing is. It's probably because it's a hospital scene, and I've got hospitals down pat. It's basically my ElementTM.**

 **We don't hate Pearl here- we just write season one her with a lot more cursing. (I love Pearly-Pear, trust me. This isn't gonna be a 'Pearl is spawn of the devil' type 'fic. Most of those have died anyhow.)**

 **-Mandaree1**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **...**

 **NighttimePhilosopher \- Thanks! =)**

 **...**

Amethyst orders two cheeseburgers, loaded with condiments, and a large coke. Peridot steals her french fries and the pickles off her buns in between bites of her chicken nuggets, which she reluctantly hands over in return.

"It's hard to explain," she says finally, cleaning off her fingers with her tongue, blatantly ignoring the unused napkin next to her. "I just want to lie down and have a good cry, but at the same time I can't. My head won't let me. I wanna go home and hug Pearl and Garnet and maybe even Greg, though that would be awkward as hell."

"Are you going to? After we eat, anyway."

"Fuck no. Pearl made it clear I'm not welcome back anytime soon." Amethyst leaned back in her chair. Her eye was getting pretty swollen, but she had refused the ice bag the nice waitress had brought her. "When she gets like that, it's best to give her some space."

"I see. I'll ask Lapis if you can stay."

"I don't see why she wouldn't let me. I got a job, so I can pay rent, and Mala knows me. If not, I might need to bum some cash for a motel room."

"If it comes to that you can sleep in my car."

"Yippee ki yay, motherfucker."

"What?"

"I dunno. I'm, like, in shock right now." She regarded her second cheeseburger thoughtfully. "I'd say it's like I witnessed the death of Jesus, but everybody knows Jesus dies in his fancy ass book. It's one of the biggest spoilers this world has to offer."

Peridot swirled her straw and bit her tongue. That doesn't sound very healthy, does it? Comparing Rose to a figure of worship? But who is she to tell Amethyst how to feel about life? Maybe Rose really was that magical. It's not like she ever met her. "I didn't know you were religious."

"I'm not. I was going for ghoulish overkill."

"Ah." See, Peridot? You're overthinking things again.

"Is it weird I wanna talk about her?" Amethyst peeked up at her, then went back to staring at her uneaten burger. Peridot had never seen her hesitate to eat food before. "But, at the same time, I don't? I want to keep it a secret little spot inside of me, right next to my heart, where nobody can hurt it. It can feed off as much of the food as it wants and lull itself to bed with my thudding or whatever. Symbiotic relationship."

"What do you get out of it? It being symbiotic."

"I get to keep it. Not a lot of people have a treasure chest next to their heart. That's pretty fucking cool." She exhaled a mix of frustration and resolution and tugged the wrapper off, taking a big bite. "But I also really want people to _know_ her. Rose is the kinda friend you'd bring to meet someone you met online to prove you aren't shady. You just wanna share bits and pieces of her with everybody you like."

"You're oddly poetic when you eat cheeseburgers," Peridot commented.

"I think it was the knock to my noggin." Amethyst reached up to poke at the bottom of the swelling. "You wanna know how we met?"

Peridot set her drink down. "Admittedly, I've been curious about that. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, though."

"Yeah, just gimme a sec." She held up a finger, carefully uncapped the lid of her coke, and downed it in one go like it was a beer, steadfastly ignoring the liquid that slipped past her lips and onto her face and chest. Amethyst tugged it away from her chest with a humorous frown. "'M breast feedin'. Anyway, Jasper and I got put in this little house with a Ma, right? Well, when she hit eighteen she got in a big fight with Ma- I think it was somethin' about partying, I don't remember- and Jasper up and decides, you know fucking what, I'm an adult now, and as an adult I'm moving out, bitch. Since I was her biological sister she took me with."

"Your mother let her?"

"No offense to Ma, but who wouldn't? Jasper's got the body of a goddess and the attitude of a stereotypical straight white boy when a girl doesn't answer his messages." She shuddered. "We end up in some medium-ish town, I'm hitting my medium-ish growth stage and on a rebellious streak, it's bad times ahead bro."

"When _aren't_ you on a rebellious streak?"

"You right, you right." Another bite of burger, no coke to down it with. Amethyst makes grabbing gestures to Peridot's drink, which she hands over out of pity. "So one day I get it into my tiny little head that I oughta egg this random house. There's literally no reason, btw- I just saw this pretty white house and decided I wanted to fuck its shit up. And I knew that Jasper would rip out a chunk of my hair if I got found out, but I thought I was super sneaky since I'm a midget."

"That makes no sense."

"Tell that to medium-ish me."

"Can I just point out that ripping out hair seems like an oddly specific punishment, or is that going too far?"

"I kept my hair short while I lived at Jasper's. Sometimes hair got caught in bad places and off it went. She don't fuck around."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Really. I know I sound all formal, but that's only because I can't think of anything to say."

Amethyst shrugged, nonplussed, but Peridot noticed her fingers twiddle the tips of her long hair a second before going back to her burger. There's only a bite or two left. "So I sneak a cartoon of eggs out of the market and goo up the walls. I can't even remember if I had fun, honestly? I hate the texture of uncooked eggs, so I was prolly really disgusted with my sticky yolk hands." She wiggled her fingers. A fleck of mustard was clinging to her ring finger. "The curtains don't even twitch. I just figure that it's this old lady's house and she's off at church or somethin'. I fuck off home."

"Did you have any designs in mind for the egging? I would've tried for, like, a flower."

" _Messy_ ," she said with relish.

"Messy is a pattern. It's a fun pattern."

"Hell yeah it is, baby." She took a second to finish her meal and wipe her hands before continuing, propping her chin up. "I got halfway home before I got laid out on my ass. I think Pearl was waitin' for me to get into an alleyway or whatever. Looked like the knife cat doin' it, too."

"Did she get you by the hair?"

"Nope. By the motherfucking ear. Hurt like a bitch. Yanked me _all_ the way back to the house and into this dank ass living room. There's Garnet, Rose, Pearl- this room of grown ass women, all of whom are buff as shit, and I'm just medium-ish. Scared shitless, I might add, because there was no way Jasper was gonna get involved. Rose tells me I'mma clean this up, and I do. Don't say a word the whole time. Leave and swear to never come back near this part of town, because this part of town is lit in a way that's gonna get medium-ish me murdered."

Peridot blinked at her. "That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"Wow. I... expected more, I guess?"

Amethyst snatched her drink again, set it down, and went after a nugget. "Yeah, well, we don't got destiny glitter and pheromone tracking unicorns in this time period."

Peridot pondered what a pheromone tracking unicorn would track, but didn't dare ask. "When did you see them again?"

"Like a year after? Somethin' like that. Jasper and I go through patches where we hate each other. I'm used to vacating. I'm hanging out at the library when it starts pissing out. I'm walking around like a soaked rat- if I'd gone home like that it would've made her feel bad, y'know? That's not fair. Garnet found me and recognized me as the lil' brat that threw eggs at her house. I guess I looked pitiful enough for her to take back and dry off."

"Wow. Destiny meeting."

Amethyst made the sound of a buzzer going off. "More like Garnet on route from her trip to the gym. She likes being buff." They paused as a family passed by, their children screaming. "They took me inside, lemme take a bath, I even got to try on some of Rose's clothes while mine dried, practically swam in 'em. After that I just kinda kept coming back? It was a pretty nice place, even though it smelled like old ladies. Eventually Jasper found out and got pissed at me for hanging out with strangers. Stormed into Rose's crib like she owned the place and demanded I come home."

"Holy shit."

"Holy shit indeed."

"I don't know Jasper, but I know Jasper has balls."

"Jasper has balls harder than stone."

"It must be a family thing."

"You saying I got balls, Peri? Because I'd rather have big, tough titties."

"Boobs as hard as stone, then."

"Nice." Amethyst held out her hand for a fist bump, which Peridot returned. "Rose hated Jasper's guts. She was a nice lady, but she hated disrespect. I'm pretty sure Jasper being an asshole upgraded me from that weird stray pet to actual daughter. As I got older I did some research and found my fam, then bugged Jasper about it. We moved up to hang with them. Rose and the others 'happened' to move up soon after. You know the rest."

Peridot nodded, then awkwardly reached out to grab Amethyst's hand. She couldn't squeeze, but she hoped it was good enough. "Thank you for trusting me. Well, not trusting, I guess. You could've told anybody about egging Rose's house and that wouldn't mean you trusted them. Thank you for telling me _personally_."

"No prob, Peri." She flipped her hand around, rubbing the long scar on the top. "You ready to test the waters with Laz?"

"She _does_ have a water aesthetic around her, doesn't she?

"Huge one," she agreed. "Ironic, seeing how she hates water."

 **Author's Note: The backstory! I really enjoy the thought of tiny medium-ish Amethyst getting busted by fully-grown ex-army Pearl.**

 **"Looking like the knife cat" is probably my favorite dialogue-description I've ever written.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Warnings: cursing, very brief sex**

 **...**

It's almost midnight when Amethyst nudges open the door to their new apartment, slipping her keys into her jean pockets. Peridot is surrounded by boxes, sitting cross-legged on the couch. It's the puke green one from Lapis's apartment, gifted generously to them when they moved out. Lapis tells them the soda stain on the middle cushion legally made it their's. "You haven't been sitting here in silence waiting for me to return, have you? Because that's a little odd."

"I've been staring into space, mostly," she admitted. "Also, I'm trying to work out where to put my stuffed animals."

"I didn't know you had any, honestly."

"I _did_ , but my parents told me I was too adult for them when I moved out. I figure now is as good a time as ever to start a new collection."

"Stuffies are badass. I had this little Totoro one I carried around with me 24/7. Called it green-belly."

"That's absolutely adorable."

"Thanks." Peridot shifted over slightly as Amethyst flopped down next to her. Their arms brushed as she leaned back. "It's kinda weird to think that, like, a couple months ago we were just a meet and fuck, and now we're doing domestic life like old wives."

"I could see us getting married," Peridot agreed cautiously, "for the tax benefits."

"Same."

"It's not prying to ask where you were, is it? I mean, it _is_ basically the next day now. You left me out to dry on the unpacking, too."

"Nah, dude, that's totally fair," Amethyst assured her, eyeing the boxes Peridot had eaten her dinner off of. She seemed oddly somber for someone who'd avoided an annoying chore. "I went to see Steven."

Peridot took a moment to let that sink in. A few days after Rose had passed, Amethyst had received a text from Pearl, informing her the boy was named Steven and that he was healthy. It was the last time she had spoken to them. Amethyst hadn't exactly made any steps to fix the severed bond, either. "I'm surprised that was... allowed."

"Pearl was at work."

"Ah."

"That's a fucked up sentence, when you think about it. A fucked up sentiment, really, but the fucked up part transfers into the sentence. That I have to wait until someone is out of the house to see my godson. 'S bullshit. I've never hurt a baby in my life."

Peridot put a hand on her arm, drawing her away from the rage that must surely have been building in her chest. "What was he like?"

Amethyst bit her lip, considering. "A pretty chill baby. Even when he wanted something, he wasn't really fussy. Which is a bit unnerving, honestly. Let us know if you need something, little baby! We can't help you if we don't know something's wrong!"

"I'm glad it went well," Peridot murmured. She still wouldn't look at her. "Amethyst?"

"I didn't get to hold him." She pulled her knees to her chest, cradling them with her arms. "I mean, I didn't really ask, but Garnet didn't offer, either. If I had, well... I'm pretty sure she would've said no."

"I thought Garnet trusted you."

"You know what? I did too."

Peridot did what she thought was best and slumped against her side. Amethyst stiffened, then shrugged her off. She moved back willingly.

"'M not a threat," she mumbled into her arms.

"You're not," she agreed.

"Especially not to any babies."

"Of course. You love babies."

"No, I don't. But I'd never punch one in the face or anything."

"You know..." Peridot started, gingerly reaching out. A hand on her shoulder didn't seem to be too much. "I don't think Garnet thinks you're going to punch a baby. I can't tell you what she's thinking _exactly_ \- I barely know her- but I've never met someone who honestly thinks a close friend is going to punch their child in the face."

"She thinks I'm going to hurt him. That's enough for me." She gestured wildly with her hands, though Peridot didn't think she was gesturing at anything in particular. People in a car crash don't normally think about which direction they're jerking the steering wheel. "It's always like this. _Always_. People tolerate me, then they start thinking I'm scary. Ooh, look at Amethyst, she's got a scar, she's been to juvy, she's a boss ass bitch."

"You _did_ stab someone."

"Yeah, years ago. That doesn't make me badass. It makes me a problem child that never figured out how to do the adult thing."

"I...I'm sorry. I've got nothing," she replied earnestly, feeling guilty. "I've had a nice life. I don't have that kind of experience to be a proper shoulder to lean on right now."

"My life wasn't _bad_." She sounded hurt.

"Sorry, sorry. Bad wording."

"No biggie, Peri. I'm getting defensive again."

"Still, I shouldn't've jumped the gun, so to speak."

"I guess."

"Don't feel bad because _I_ messed up, okay?"

Amethyst sighed and patted her arm. "Yeah, yeah, okay. Sorry," she said. "Really. I am."

"I know. I am too."

"I guess I should be used to this by now, huh?"

Something twinged in Peridot's chest. "You shouldn't have to be comfortable with abandonment."

The older woman stared at her. Really stared at her, as if she were an alien among livestock. Something about her was uncomprehending; or, to be more precise, unwilling to comprehend. "I guess? I feel like that's a really unproductive way of coming at life. People leave all the time. Death is a thing that occurs."

Peridot shook her head. "There's a difference between shit leaving and being abandoned. I think. I feel like there's a difference, anyway."

"Does it really matter either way? Rose's gone. Pearl's gone. Garnet's halfway out the door with a baby. The ship is sailed."

"Toss an anchor and bust the hull."

"That's kinda-sorta threatening, you know that?"

"Thanks. I do threatening well."

Amethyst laughed long and hard, but she still didn't seem soothed. Big hands rested on each of her shoulders, gently pushing Peridot onto her back. Amethyst climbed on, long hair draping around them both like a curtain left to the elements, torn and bristled. One lock draped across her right arm. "Be real with me, babe. Do I ever scare you?"

" _Scare_ me?"

She nodded. "Ma loved me well enough, but I was just a foster kid. And there's always those kids who know too much and love to use it against you. They'd be all 'no one wants you' and then Jasper would materialize on the spot like ' _I_ wanted her, bitch', but I got pretty mean sometimes. One time, this little snot said I was a gremlin and I punched him so hard he lost a tooth."

"Why a gremlin? I would've gone for a werewolf or something."

"I'm short and fat and I got big lips."

"Yes, but _all that hair_."

"It was short, then. But I appreciate the reverence." She tucked a lock behind her ear. It wasn't the one half-tangled around her arm. "Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I can be a bit of a bully. I don't _mean_ to be, really, but then I'll start getting mad and I'll realize I'm balling my fists and tightening my shoulders and- well, you get the point. I look like I'm 'bout to go wild on someone. Just- just wanted to clear the air on that whole issue."

"I've seen you like that before," she admitted, "after that phone call with Pearl. But I wasn't scared. You don't scare me."

A long sigh escaped Amethyst's throat. Her elbows buckled, letting her fall against Peridot's chest. The air whooshed out of her, then returned in scraps."You okay?"

"Kinda booby. Kinda angsty."

"Is that an okay feeling, or..."

"Honestly? I've been worse off." She untucked her head from Peridot's chest. "I really wanna be intimate right now, I guess. All that warmth and closeness and shit."

"Like sex intimate?" she asked.

"Is that such a big surprise?"

"Kind of, yeah. I think this is the first time you've personally asked me for sex."

Amethyst shrugged lazily. "Being all intimate and junk- it's special, y'know? But it takes a lot of time, and closeness, and talking, stuff like that. It takes me maybe half an hour and a good story and I'm done. It's just easier to get it over with."

"Don't you miss it?"

"Not really? I mean, I do right now, so I'm asking you. Otherwise I'm good with flicking the bean before going to bed." She rolled onto her side, grabbing onto the cushion so she didn't roll off. "You up to sitting on my face?"

"I'm absolutely up to sitting on your face," Peridot replied, voice muffled by her shirt. Maybe she was being a little too enthusiastic, but things had been stressful lately.

It's quick and mostly clothed, little grunts and a few accidental squeaks. Peridot tugs a knot in Amethyst's hair she hadn't realized was there until her fingers hit it and they both stopped to ease the sting. The orgasm itself was lackluster, as they sometimes can be, but the belly kisses Amethyst gave her after were worth that and more. There was always next time to get her rocks off properly.

"You didn't come," she said finally, settling into her hoodie.

"I'm sleepy," Amethyst commented, eyes drooping. "It's like one in the morning."

"I love how I say 'you didn't get off' and your only response is 'check the fucking time, babes.'"

"Pretty much."

Peridot intertwined their legs, feeling a thought nag at her. "Amethyst?"

"Eeyup."

"Do you think I'm sexy?"

Amethyst's eyes opened. "That's an odd question. What up?"

"Not much. I just..." She bit her lip. "You never seem all that bothered to get intimate with me. And I don't mean that in a 'we never fuck' kind of way. It feels like... I dunno, I don't get you off?"

"You've gotten me off, dude. More than once."

"Right, right. But you never seem all that affected, if that makes sense? It's all take it or leave it with you. And I just want to make sure you're into it, I guess?"

"I'm into it," she promised, grinning lopsidedly. "You're cute, Peri. I love your nose and your glitchy hand and the little squint you get when you're pissed. As for sexy, well... I mean, what constitutes as sexy? It seems like everybody's got a different explanation."

"It's up to you," Peridot insisted. "What you find sexy."

Amethyst hesitated, looking put on the spot. Finally, she said: "I dunno. I don't think I've ever found anything sexy before."

"Nothing?"

"Close to it, anyway."

"Porn?"

"Was never my cup of Pepsi."

"Same here," she admitted agreeably. "What about stories, or drawings, or people?"

"Stories and drawings are cool. I can get off on them. But that's 'cause they're sex, and maybe well-written dialogue 'n shit." Her eyes lit up. "Ooh! Drawings. I really like good drawings of big people like me. I look so... squish."

"You _are_ squish."

"I know, but I can look at the drawings easier than I can the mirror. With the mirror I gotta take all my clothes off- drawings are nudity-ready."

That makes sense. Peridot tugs on a hoodie string. "Says the fully clothed woman."

"My point exactly."

"This is a very silly conversation."

"Yes, yes it is."

"Is it okay if I... do research? About this?"

Amethyst frowned. "You make it sound like something's wrong with me."

Peridot frantically waved her hands. "No, no, not at all. I just really like having scientific gobbledy-gook to describe things with."

"I mean, if it helps..." She reached out to boop her nose. "I guess that's okay."

 **Author's Note: Mild time skips for the win! It's been maybe three months since the last chapter (in the story's time, anyway). And is that a super short sex scene I see? -squints- S'been a while since I had one of those.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **...**

 _Autochorissexual: a subset of asexuality described as a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein. Autochorissexuals are known to:_

 _-Get aroused by sexual content but not actually want to engage in any sexual activities. Masturbate, but are neutral or repulsed by the idea of having sex with another person._

 _-Fantasize about sex, but envision people other than themselves, and/or view it in third person, as though they're watching it on TV, rather than imagining it in first person, through their own eyes._

 _-Predominantly or entirely fantasize about fictional characters or celebrities, rather than people in real life they know._

 _-Identify as asexual and feel no sexual attraction to people, but enjoy masturbating, are aroused by sexually explicit content, and/or have sexual fantasies._

Peridot squinted at the list. The familiar half-dryness in her eyes from reading small print in the middle of the night was playing havoc on her concentration skills. Amethyst snoring a room over didn't help much either. Leaning back on the couch cushion, she took a pen off the coffee table, into her mouth, and began to gnaw on it.

That sounded like a possibility. Helluva mouthful, though, and Peridot doubted Amethyst would enjoy words that sounded straight out of a encyclopedia. Still, she'd asked her to keep her updated on any research she decided to do, and she didn't want to deny her trust. After all, if Amethyst went digging into a title to label her as, she'd want to know it, wouldn't she? It's only fair.

A knock startled her out of her thoughts. Peridot glanced at the clock at the bottom right of her screen- 3:45 A.M. Certainly no time for visitors, save for personal emergency. Amethyst's snoring hadn't faltered, but that didn't surprise her- she was exhausted from working two shifts. Peridot hesitantly closed her laptop and set it aside, uncrossing her legs. Her socks met the floor first, whereupon she took a second to stretch her limbs before anxiously half-jogging to the door. She flicked the lock and twisted the knob, jerking it open with a sort of halfhearted vigor. She was greeted by a thin waist and a powder blue shirt with yellow flowers tucked into jeans.

Peridot tilted her head back until she met blue eyes. "You're a mad woman, coming here in the middle of the night."

Pearl flinched. "Yes, well, you know how well I sleep."

"You don't."

"Exactly." She glanced over her shoulder. "May I come in?"

"You may not," Peridot informed her, eyes narrowing. "Come back when it's day."

Thin, fluttering hands. Stalling. "I have to work in the morning."

"So does everyone else with a morning shift. That doesn't allow you special barging rights."

Pearl paused, staring at Peridot as if she'd sprouted a second head. She forced her shoulders to loosen. "You're mad at me."

Peridot crossed her arms, eyebrows raised mockingly. "Gee, I wonder why."

"As do I." She was fiddling with her sleeve now, clumping and tugging at it. "This is between me and Amethyst. And, by extension, Steven." Pearl paused, squinting into the apartment. She wondered what she thought of its meager furnishings. "It's high time she got off her high horse and helped us raise him."

Peridot stared at the older woman, floored. "Are you seriously trying to barge into my apartment- which is in _my_ name, making it _mine_ , not her's- to demand _child support_? This early in the goddamn morning?"

Pearl sounded unrepentant. "I promise not to start a fight."

"You already have." Peridot poked her in the belly with her bad hand. "What makes you think you have any right to demand anything from her? Amethyst is the godparent. She takes Steven on if you _die_." Her green eyes flickered up and down her form. "You look pretty alive to me. Then again, this could all just be a stress dream. I'd prefer it if it was, honestly."

"I refuse to believe Amethyst hasn't woken up by now. I know she's a heavy sleeper, but not this heavy."

"And now you're insinuating I'm hiding her from you?" Her voice was flat. It was too early to feel much of anything- anything but tired. "She just worked two shifts in a row, and I had to beg her off chugging a five hour energy and attempting a third. She's fucking tired, Pearl. No one is allowed to see her until she's up for it."

"Says who?"

"Says me," Peridot said, ignoring the fact that Pearl was a decorated army woman. In all reality, it wouldn't take much for the older woman to lay her out on her ass. Hell, one blow to the nose and Peridot would be dead and beginning the illustrious decomposing process. _It's all about trust_ , she told herself. Trust in what, she didn't know. "I'm her voluntary guard for the night. Day. Whatever you'd like to call it. Send us a voicemail next time you want to rant about child support. Or some lawyers."

"Peridot," Pearl replied, sounding surprisingly patient. "I _will_ see her. If not tonight, then tomorrow, after I get out of work."

"We don't run on your schedule," she pointed out.

"No, you don't. I'd be inside and Amethyst would be up if you did." She let out a long-winded sigh. It sounded less like a natural sigh and more like the kind of sigh you did when you're an unimportant side character in a play trying to garner the audience's attention. "Fine."

Peridot shut the door, flicking the lock. She strained to hear any noise outside the door, half-afraid that the woman wouldn't take the hint to go. The squeaking of the floor under her shoes brought relief.

"That's _enough_ research for one night," she decided, pushing the laptop lid down until it clicked shut. It's bad practice to let the thing sit there and drain battery. Peridot scooped it into her arms and stumbled into the bedroom, weariness gnawing at her. Amethyst lays as sprawled out as far as her smallish stature will allow, mouth gaping open. A white line has dried on her chin. Peridot flops down so her head is on Amethyst's belly, computer crammed a quarter of the way beneath her.

Amethyst lets out a snort that's caught between sleep and surprise, groggily blinking at her. "Did she leave?"

"You heard?"

"Eeyup."

"Why didn't you come out?"

She smacked her lips. "She told me to keep away. Well, that's what I'm doin'." Amethyst yawned and stretched. "What did she want, anyhow? I could hear her voice, but not what she was saying."

"She wants some free babysitting, I think. That, or cash."

Amethyst begrudgingly sat up, hands slipping and sliding on the bedsheets. "Seriously?"

Peridot nodded.

"Most of me wants to be shocked by that statement." She let herself fall back. "The middle of me knew this was gonna happen."

"The middle?"

"Right above muh belly button. The middle."

"Ah. _That_ middle."

"The middlest of middles."

Peridot haphazardly flopped the closed laptop onto her chest. "I found words."

"I found a black eye," Amethyst returned with a snort. "Night night, green pea."

The woman is gone when she wakes up; probably off at work, or maybe just goofing off. There's a note tapped to her laptop that says that terms are long and confusing, but she's glad there's terms at all. Peridot makes a cup of coffee and watches the morning go by.

 **Author's Note: Another chapter done! =)**

 **-Mandaree1**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **...**

The Big Donut is not the swankiest store in town. That wouldn't've meant much, back in Ocean Town, but seeing how Beach City was home to maybe fifteen people, give or take, it's not like they have a lot of competition to work with. Fish Stew Pizza at least has a decent family atmosphere, and the crunchy bits from Beach Citywalk Fries have a good texture to them. That shouldn't be particularly perturbing for a store filled with deserts and other snacks, and yet the beaten up place suffered from the slowest stream of customers this side of the post office.

Still. It's a job, and Amethyst is supposed to have one of those. Better to be bored and get paid then to be perpetually overwhelmed and get fired.

Her co-workers are two teenagers, and though Amethyst has only known them a week or so, she's certain they've boned at least once. Lars is tall, gangly, and fairly awkward, while Sadie is short, pudgy, and, well, fairly awkward. That's probably just the age and the stage, but it _does_ give her ample opportunity to watch drama unfold.

"You know," Lars says between donuts, pulling out the stale and putting in new. "You could've said hi to me in the hallway earlier. I _saw_ you pass by."

" _You_ told _me_ not to talk to you if Buck was nearby," Sadie returned, fiddling around in the register, ordering bills and the like. "So I just _assumed_ that meant the whole school."

Lars' face softened. "I never meant it like that."

"You don't have to _mean_ to _imply_."

"Well, maybe if you asked for _clarification_ -"

Amethyst, leaning her stomach on the counter, let out a long groan. "Kids, don't make me turn this car around."

Lars and Sadie's heads whirled towards her, both blushing. "Shut up!" they shouted.

She didn't shut up. "Do I need to put you two in separate corners? Do ya'll need a time out? Should I see about getting those shaming signs while I'm at it? What up?"

" _I hate you_ ," Lars said, with a noise that reminded her of a dying tuba.

Amethyst clicked her tongue and sent some finger guns their way. She wonders if it's too early for her to become the wacky aunt character in their lives, and if she has already or not.

The door opens with a quiet little jingle. Amethyst drags her eyes away from teen drama and finds herself chest-to-face with Greg, fidgeting at the counter. He's gotten a bit balder since she last saw him. Or maybe he's been pulling his hair out. With a newborn baby in the house, both are fair game.

"Hey," he says, fumbling it halfway through.

"Hey," she says, but it kind of comes out as a squeak. In her defense, Greg had always come across as more of a ice cream man than a donut man. _Cripes, this is bad_ , she thinks, then realizes she just thought 'cripes' while working in a donut place while trying to have a conversation with an ice cream fella. "You look like hell ran you over with her chariot, dude."

"I think it was less of a chariot and more like a tank," Greg supplies wearily. "You got a break anytime soon? We gotta talk."

Amethyst's heart twinged. Those three words would likely be the death of her one day. It certainly didn't help that she and Greg had been on wobbly standing ever since they'd had sex. And that was, like, two years ago now. Closer to three. "This place only has three employees. Legit just three. Breaks don't exist in this place of dough and coffee."

She hears Lars snicker, and she knows she's doomed. The teen puts a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, we can spare ya' a few minutes. After all," he added, winking. "We wouldn't want to have to turn the car around."

Amethyst buries her cheeks into her arms to avoid letting him see her blush. "Ya'll better not try getting a quickie in while I'm gone, hear me?"

That has him stumbling and stuttering again, face aflame. Satisfied, Amethyst slowly dragged her feet around the counter and out the door, listening to Sadie snicker quietly behind her. Greg's van was parked right outside, but he sat on the curb beside it instead, probably in an attempt to avoid drudging up any claustrophobia.

"So," she prompted, sitting down a few feet away. "I just found out I'm automobilesexual."

"You're _what_?"

"I dunno, man. It was a really long word." Amethyst shrugged. She still wasn't entirely certain how she felt about that title. Did she even _want_ to go by a title? It was too soon to tell. "I'm on the ace spectrum, is what I'm getting at."

"Those folks who don't want to have sex?"

"That's celibacy. Sometimes. Whatever. I'm not sexually attracted to people."

"Right, right. _That_ one." Greg set his chin on his hands, which were on his knees. "Sorry. I forget a lot of the words."

Amethyst shrugged. "So do I. I guess there's a bunch of words related to my word, too."

"That sounds complicated."

"It might be? I dunno. Peri's been science-ing it all up."

Greg sighed. His voice was subdued. "We're avoiding the topic."

"We tend to do that," she agreed. Amethyst's eyebrows drew closer together. "How you doing, Greg?"

"I'm... well, I'm _not_ doing. I keep expecting to see her somewhere, you know?" He vaguely waved a hand around. "On a street corner, or a library, or maybe at some bar fight. I know, logically, that she's dead, but my eyes won't listen. I keep looking."

"Yeah?" Amethyst drew her knees closer. "Me too."

Greg ran his fingers across his bald spot, then the very beginnings of his just-as-rapidly fading hair. "Listen. I know things between you and Pearl are, well, terrible. But I want you in Steven's life. I want all of you in his life."

"Tell that to her."

"I have, actually."

"And she didn't kill you?"

He made so-so noises. "I'm pretty sure she still blames me. For. Y'know."

Amethyst reached out to hook one of his arms with her own, oddly serious. " _You_ better not be blamin' you."

"I'm trying not to," he responded earnestly, and that was the best either of them could hope for. "So, are you up for becoming an aunt? Or- I dunno, an extra mom?"

"I dunno. Are _you_ ready for _me_ to an an aunt-mom?"

Greg shook his head, scoffing. "We all know you're a bit reckless, but I think you'll be good for Steven. If anything, you'll help him have one hell of a rebellious phase. At least give it some thought, alright?"

"I live to please," she said, then saluted mockingly.

* * *

"Eyyyyy, Peri." Amethyst leaned her chin on the woman's shoulder, staring uncomprehendingly at her laptop screen. It was much later, now, and they were in their nightclothes, which consisted primarily of undies (boxers, in her case) and thin t-shirts full of holes and stains. "Whatcha doing?"

"Fiddling with an old program from high school." She tilted the laptop slightly so she could see better. "You'd make a list of demands, and those demands connected a set of fancy legos, which you could make do certain things."

"We don't have any fancy legos, though. We don't even have simple legos."

"...I'm _really_ bored, okay?"

A bubble of laughter exploded in her chest. Amethyst nudged her cheek with her stubby nose. "How would you feel about taking care of a kid this weekend?"

Peridot's eyes flicked over to her. "Mala or Steven? I can't see Lapis being into babysitting."

"Steven," she affirmed.

"I can't see Pearl being into babysitting either."

"I dunno how she feels about it, and I don't really give a fuck. Greg is into it, though."

Peridot closed the lid of her computer with a quiet click. "When the fuck did you talk to Greg?"

"Today."

"I thought you worked today."

"I did. He came to my job."

"That's mildly creepy."

"Meh, not really. I mean, it _could_ be, theoretically, but not with Greg."

Peridot made a noise. Amethyst didn't really have an apt description of the noise, only that it was a noise and it was made to show she was comprehending what she was saying. "Still seems a bit iffy to me."

Amethyst pressed a kiss to the woman's cheek as a sort of placating gesture. "You never answered my question."

"I don't know how I feel about it," Peridot answered honestly, with a little shrug. "But I know that Steven matters a lot to you, and I want to support you."

"It's mostly your money paying for this place," she reminded her sensibly. "You decide who can or can't come into it."

"We _both_ decide." Peridot took in a long, deep breath, preparing herself for emotional commitments she wasn't entirely sure she was ready for. "And I vote we babysit your godson."

Chubby arms wrapped around her neck. Amethyst let out a long bellow of "Perrrrriiiiiiiiiiii" as she hauled the woman onto her back, laying them both out on the couch. She probed her armpits for sensitive spots, leading to a tickle fight that lasted a good chunk of time. Their eyes were wet as they stifled chuckles, gifting eskimo kisses back and forth.

"I needed that," Amethyst breathed, unintentionally telling Peridot about the ribs she'd had for lunch. "How you doin'?"

"I'm doing good. You?"

"Only took me twenty minutes to get out of bed this morning. I count that as a win." She smooched her chin. "'Kay, so I'mma be real about this. Gotta talk like an adult and all that shit. How do you feel about the automobilesexual thing?"

"It's autochorissexual."

"That's a goddamn lot of syllables."

"How do _you_ feel about it?"

Amethyst shrugged, lips pursing. "I do and I don't. On one hand, it's a new thing for me. But it's also, like, not? I've always been this way. And maybe that's the wrong label. Maybe it's not. IDK. It's just us groping around for a name for that part of me."

"Or _not_ groping around, in this case."

"Hey, hey, hey. Let's not pretend I'm any less into sex just because I don't get jiggly with it the same way you do."

Peridot shifted awkwardly.

"Peri?" Amethyst prompted.

She crossed her arms, staring at the cushion on the mattress. That ugly stain. "I'm re-learning my boundaries, y'know? I've never faced this sort of thing before."

Amethyst pulled her a bit closer. "Nothing's changed."

"I know, I know. I just want sex to be good for you, too."

"It wasn't ever _not_ good, dingus. Do you really see me going around and doing shit I didn't like?"

She shook her head, scratching at the stain with her fingernail.

The woman watched her a long moment, then seemed to come to a decision, sliding off the seat. "Alright, that's it. We need a cuddle sesh."

"What?" Peridot barely has the time to ask before being lifted off the sofa. Amethyst stumbles a bit, but her grip doesn't waver; her feet do that plenty enough for them.

"Let me carry you over the threshold, baby," she joked, snorting.

Their bed isn't anything special. It's clean, and it has decent support, and a thick brown comforter they'd splurged on. Amethyst drops her on her side (the right one), kicking the blanket off her own before crawling up, taking her bra off from under her shirt. She let out a sigh of comfort as she flung it across the room. "That's better."

Peridot, face squished into her pillow, doesn't move. She prefers mumbling into it anyway. "Things have gotten really complicated lately."

"Yeah?"

She rolled onto her back. "This is an open forum. Not a one-way. You don't have to pat me on the head and say yeah and not put your thoughts out there."

"Bitch, my sister got arrested right before I met you. My life's always been messy. Does it feel any better for me to say that? Not really."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Relationships are supposed to be open and junk." Amethyst tucked her head behind her arm, leaning against the wall. Her other arm rested on her belly, right under her boobs, slightly curved from the bra. "I've never really been good at that."

Peridot held her hands out in front of her, as if reaching out to grab something. "My life was pretty simple, all things considered. I mean, my folks were controlling, and that's never easy, but I was three states away and taking college courses. Now I'm four states away and I'm half-responsible for two children- Mala and Steven. She tilted her head her direction. "Not to mention we're still pretty up in the air."

"We never _did_ decide if we were dating or not." Amethyst smacked her lips. "Who was it that said life is what happens when you try to make plans?"

"Fuck, I dunno. I hate their guts, whoever they were."

"They weren't wrong tho."

"I know, and that's why I hate them."

"Touche, my dude. Touche."

 **Author's Note: Finally, amiright? I always tend to drag the endings of these stories on. With this and my other popular story, Berry Paint, ending soon, it's time to bring some newer things to the plate. I've got a Ducktales multi-chapter concept idea I might end up working on, along with a sequel to my KND 'fic, Five Minutes. It's all in the air right now.**

 **With that in mind, I've decided we've only got one more chapter left! These types of tales never really have a definite ending- you can't wrap up life in a pretty little bow.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Absquatulate**

 **Summary: Amethyst is a local legend at the Ocean Town college. She's looking for a new place to crash after the arrest of her sister, and her cousin, Carnelian, is there to help with a party. Peridot, an awkward robotics student who's just barely old enough to strike out on her own, is the one who ends up taking her home for the night.**

 **Warnings: cursing, sex stuff, the usual**

 **...**

Amethyst groans. Not from anything sexual, like Peridot had hoped, but because the doorbell is ringing. She grabs the pillow behind her head, throwing it onto her partner below. "Fuck. The baby is here. Fucking shit. I was so close, too. Goddamnit."

Peridot shifted back onto her knees, wiping her mouth on her arm. "We probably shouldn't have done this when we knew they were coming."

"I thought it was Friday."

She squinted at the digital clock on the bedside table. "It's one in the morning, so... technically Saturday."

Amethyst sits up, hair sticking up wildly. It reminds Peridot of a bird whose feathers are fluffed to keep out the cold. "Fucking Pearl and her fucking insomnia. I was _getting some_ , damnit."

"Want me to run interference?"

"No, no." She was already digging around for her boxers. "I don't trust you not to punch her in the bottom parts."

"We did kinda get off on the wrong foot last time, yeah."

Amethyst snorted. "Least you got off."

At one in the morning, neither apartment member had any real fucks to give. Peridot went back to bed, though she didn't really enjoy leaving Amethyst alone with someone who had previously given her a black eye. The harsh truth was that college didn't care if you were having interpersonal problems, and she needed sleep to do the college. Amethyst put on her boxers and nothing else, opening the front door with her boobs free of their cage.

"What the heck, Amethyst!" Pearl cried, clapping a hand over her eyes. Cradled in her arms was Steven's baby carrier, the baby in question snoozing quite contently inside. "You're gonna scar the child!"

"That's what you get for being an asshole about your sleeping problems," Amethyst replied smugly. "I had someone going down on me, for pete's sake. Call ahead next time."

"If I promise to will you put on a shirt?"

"That requires effort I don't have the energy for, so... no."

Pearl stepped into the apartment, and all that awkwardness came rushing past them both. Amethyst, not quite willing to let the woman out of her sight, did an awkward backwards shimmy over to the couch. Pearl followed, firmly setting the slumbering baby between them. Which is, in a weird, ironic way, kind of like using him as a meat shield.

"So," Pearl says.

"So," Amethyst says, rubbing at an eyelid.

"How has life been treating you?"

"I just got handed a baby. How do you _think_ it's been treating me?"

Pearl cleared her throat, tapping her index fingers together. "Yes, well..."

Amethyst's head hit the back of the couch. "I just realized something. This is karma."

"Excuse me?"

"I cuddle-blocked Carny and Navy that one time, so now I'm getting tongue-blocked."

"Carnelian?" She tilted her head to the side and squinted. "What does your cousin have to do with this?"

"Everything and nothing."

"How very descriptive of you."

"It's too early for descriptions. They've barely even loaded in the textures."

Pearl looked around the room with an awkward half-giggle. "Will your girlfriend be coming out soon?"

"Probably?" Amethyst grimaced. "She's got school today, too. Man, that sucks."

"I'm shocked," the other woman admitted. "You didn't dispute me calling her your girlfriend."

Amethyst side-eyes her. "I don't see why I should. It's more family friendly than fuck buddies."

She flinched at how blunt the words came at her, as if the smaller woman had shot them from a gun instead of simply saying them. They both stared at the dim TV as if it were the best thing in the world. Steven let out a tiny, sleepy noise, foot twitching.

"Is it safe for a child to be going anyplace before the sun is up?" Amethyst asked.

"With proper preparation, yes." Pearl turned to look at her. "I'm sure you're aware that I didn't mean what I said that day."

"Am I?"

"Amethyst, please."

"That doesn't sound like an apology."

She sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry for what I said."

Amethyst found the urge to smile. "But not for decking me, huh?"

Pearl smiled back. "Let's be real. This isn't the first or last time an argument between us has gotten physical."

"That's kinda fucked up, yeah?"

"This whole scenario is kind of fucked up, deep down. But I like to think we're ever-so-slowly beginning to move with the punches."

"That sounds a lot better than it actually is."

She didn't respond to that. Maybe she didn't have a response to give. "Would you like to watch TV? After we put Steven to bed properly, I mean."

Amethyst handed her the remote.

 **Author's Note: Heey, this is finally done! Took less than a year, this one did, and I'm pretty proud of it, even with its errors. The dialogue is something I'm especially proud of. I know there wasn't much of a reconciliation between Pearl and Amethyst, but there really wasn't supposed to be. You can't take something like that back. Not in this case, anyway.**

 **This story actually ended up being a lot different from what I originally planned it to be? The first idea was Amethyst meeting Peridot at a party and kinda moving in without Peridot meaning for her to (I originally labeled this as my squatter AU, believe it or not). There was gonna be a break-up planned in there? Like Peridot got fed up with Amethyst for whatever reason- I think it drew back to Amethyst not working/not paying for anything around the house. It's fuzzy now. They would still be living together/friends and stuff, and Peridot would jump in to help with Steven, so, like, it was basically an unnecessary dose of drama? It never went anywhere.**

 **Thanks for reading, everybody! I've had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope ya'll've had fun reading it!**

 **-Mandaree1**


End file.
